PS 2869 
.S158 
L5 
1848 
Copy 1 



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LIFE AND ADVENTURES 

OF 

t H E N R Y SMITH, 



THE CELEEEATED 



RAZOR STROP MAN, 



EMBRACING 



® A COMPLETE COLLECTIOX OF HIS ORIGINAL SONGS, QUEER 
KB SPEECHES, HUMOROUS LETTERS, AND ODD, DROLL, 

II STR\NGE AND WHIMSICAL SAYINGS, NOW 

W PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME. 




WITH AN ACCURATE PORTRAIT. 

to' WHICH IS ADDED 

A CHOICE SELECTION OP SONGS, ANECDOTES AND WITTI- 
CISMS, MOST OF THEM ORIGINAL. 



BOSTON: 

WHITE & POTTER, PRINTERS, 
Spring Lane, comer of Devonshire street. 

18 48. 




HENKY SMITH 



THE 

LIFE AND ADVENTUKES 

OF 

HENRY SMITH, 

TUB CELEBRATED 

RAZOR STROP MAN 



EMBRACING 



A COMPLETE COLLECTION OF HIS ORIGINAL SONGS, aUEER 

SPEECHES, HUMOROUS LETTERS, AND ODD, DROLL, 

STRANGE AND WHIMSICAL SAYINGS, NOW 

PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME. 




WITH AN ACCURATE PORTRAIT. 

TO WHICH IS ADDED 

A CHOICE SELECTION OF PONQS, ANECDOTES AND WITTICISMS, 
MOST OF THEM ORIGINAL. 



BOSTON: 

WHITE & POTTER, PRINTERS, 
Spring Lane, coiner of Devonshire street. 

I R '1 8 . 






Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1848, by 

John F. Coles, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Mass. 






INTRODUCTION. 



The extraordinary career of Mr. Smith, who, as a simple vender 
of Razor Strops, has made himself a sort of public character, known 
either personally or by report, to the citizens of every portion of 
our country, is sufficient excuse, if any is needed, for publishing 
this little work. The country is flooded with the histories of great 
generals, great statesmen, great lawyers and great scoundrels. Why 
not, then, make room for the history of a great pedlar ? If to strike 
out a path to fame and fortune, never trodden before, be sufficient 
cause for notoriety, then is Mr Smith fully entitled to such a dis- 
tinction. That he is a mere pedlar of Razor Strojis, argues noth- 
ing against his claims ; for the same industry, perseverance, and 
fruitfulness of invention, exhibited in his present business, would 
have made him as successful and as noted in any other profession, 
had fortune placed him in a more favorable position in the outset. 
If he had commenced life in the counting-room, he might now 
have been a princely merchant, instead of the prince of pedlars. 

It is not expected that the contents of this work will either as- 
tonish or greatly enlighten the world. The incidents in the Kfe of 
Mr. Smith are not of a character to create that " thrilling interest" 
and " absorbing attention" which the public look for in publica- 
tions of this character. He has betrayed no confiding maiden, per- 
formed no mighty deed of valor, committed no shocking murder — 
in fact, there is no romance in his history, at all. He has lived thus 
far as thousands and tens of thousands have lived before him, and 
his history is the history of them all. Nevertheless, as far as the 
principle of temperance is concerned, the narrative contained in the 
following pages may have a salutary influence. If the mariner who 
constructs a chart by which his fellow seamen may learn to shun 
the fatal rock upon which his own bark has split, be deserving of 
praise, then is he no less worthy, who, in the dangerous voyage of 
life, has made shipwreck of his fortunes, yet, being saved, lifts up a 
warning voice, that others may avoid the cruel current that had 
lured him to his ruin. 

If this book should fall into the hands of one who is already. 



VI INTRODUCTION. 

though lightly, treading in the path of danger, let him reflect, be- 
fore he raises the cup of death again to his lips. As he reads the 
following pages, let him ask himself if he is safe, when one as strong 
and contident as himself, perhaps, was found to be perfect weak- 
ness. If he is already so far advanced in habits of intemiDerance as 
to despair of reformation, let him take courage, for one as bad as he 
has been saved, was dead and is alive again. 

The collection of Mr. Smith's poetry, speeches, letters, &c., which 
we have appended to this work, will serve to while away an idle 
hour, if they subserve no better purpose. If the people read these 
comical and truly original effusions with half the interest they have 
exhibited in listening to them, as they fell from the lips of their 
author, the publisher will be more than satisfied with his specula- 
tion. 

Trusting that none will be injured, while we hope that some may 
be benefitted by a perusal of this unpretending volume, we send it 
forth to the world, as one of the very smallest aspirants to public 
favor and patronage. 

The Publisher. 

Boston, 1848. 



LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 



CHAPTER L 

Birth, Parentage and Early Education. — Leaves School.— Goes Ap- 
prentice to a Baker. — Gets tired of his business. — Tricks of the 
Trade. — Dead 'Uns. -Leaves his Situation, — First Trait of Yankee- 



Henry Smith was born in the village of Waltham Ab- 
bey, England, on the 24th December, 1815. His father, 
John Smith, was by trade a carpenter, and being an excel- 
lent workman, and of good habits, was enabled to live in 
very comfortable style, and at the same time lay by some- 
thing handsome each year, upon which to rely in old age, 
or to relieve liim.self and family in case of unforeseen mis- 
fortunes. Henry was the third of five children, having a 
brother and sister older, and a brother and sister younger 
than himself, all of whom are still living. 

Henry, when old enough, was sent to the village school, 
which he attended until he was thirteen years of age, dur- 
ing which time l>e obtained all the knowledge of which he 
is now possessed, so far as book learning is concerned. 
He often says, when speaking of his school-boy days, that 
his master knew nothing, and as soon as he had learned his 
scholars all he knew himself, they left him. Whether 
Smith managed to learn more than his sagacious master 
taught him, is a matter of doubt to this day. ^ 

As soon as he had left school, being a good sized, healthy- 
vigorous lad, he was desirous, in accordance with his 



8 I^IFE OF HBNRY SMITH> 

father's wishes, of learning a trade, and it was not long be- 
fore a favorable opportunity for so doing presented itself. 
A baker living in the village wished an apprentice, and ap- 
plied to Henry, as just the lad he wanted. In England, a 
boy has to serve seven years' apprenticeship, and pass suc- 
cessively through all the different grades of his profession, 
before he can be considered a perfect master of his busi- 
ness. To learn the baker's trade, the first step is, to drive 
the cart in the raorning, and serve bread to the customers. 
This initiatory duty suited Henry's taste exactly, as he, like 
most boys of his age, loved a horse and delighted in nothing 
so much as an opportunity of driving one, whether in a gig^ 
a hay-wagon, or a baker's cart. His first engagement 
with the baker was, to work on "• trial," with the under- 
standing that if, at the end of four weeks' service, all par- 
ties should be suited, he was to be regularly bound for the 
term of seven years. 

Much as our young friend was pleased with his situation 
at first, he soon found that " all is not gold that glitters," 
and that, however pleasing it might be to ride behind a fast 
horse, for pleasure, it was quite a different thing to be com- 
pelled to follow it up as a duty. His daily rides from one 
end of the village to the other, in fair weather and foul, 
soon lost their attractions, and, being compelled to work a 
great part of the night, as well as during the first part of 
the day, he soon tired of his situation, and concluded to 
leave at the end of his "trial month," and seek some other 
business more congenial to his disposition, and if possible, 
less laborious. 

Before leaving, however, Henry learned a few " tricks 
of the trade," which are not laid down in the regular code 
of the profession. These " tricks" were practiced by jour- 
neymen, and sometimes by the older apprentices, and con- 
sisted in stealing loaves from the master, and converting 
them into ale or other strong drink. During the first week, 
he detected a journeyman in practicing one of his sleight- 
of-hand operations. This man, among other duties, was 
obliged to keep the stable clean, and every morning removed 
the offal to a place of deposit at some distance from the 
bakery. It was his habit to take from one to half a dozen 
loaves every morning, and, wrapping them closely in a 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 9 

large napkin, deposit them in the stable until he removed 
the offal, under which he would slide the precious morsels, 
there to remain until evening arrived, when they were taken 
to some neighboring ale-house, and bartered away for 
strong drink. Loaves stolen in this way, are styled " dead 
'uns," and are almost invariably purloined by drunkards, 
and bought by spirit and beer sellers. After leaving the 
baker, Henry staid at home for some time, occasionally 
helping his father in his business, although he had not the 
least idea of learning the carpenter's trade, thus early in 
life displaying his yankeeism, as it is well known that Amer- 
ican youth very seldom learn the professions followed by 
their fathers, while the young men of England almost inva- 
riably adopt the paternal business. 



CHAPTER II. 

The friendly carpenter. — Henry goes to London. — Engages witli a 
widow as boy of all work. — Too much work. — Leaves and goes ap- 
prentice to a butcher. — Likes liis situation. — The unfortunate leg 
of mutton. — The worsted a^Dron. — Is obliged to leave. 

One day a master carpenter from London being on a 
visit to Henry's house, noticed the alacrity with which the 
boy attended to the work he had in hand, and hearing that 
he was desirous of getting into some permanent business, 
informed him of a situation then vacant in Islington, (a part 
of London,) to which he would recommend him, if he wish- 
ed. As Henry was very anxious to see London, of which 
he had heard so much, he eagerly embraced the proffered 
services of the friendly carpenter, and the next day accom- 
panied him to the great city, and was soon introduced to his 
future mistress who was a rich widow lady who kept a 
green grocer's store, and who wished a boy to open and 
shut the shop, drive her to market in the morning, go round 
after orders, deliver goods, &c., &c. A bargain was soon 
1* 



10 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

concluded, and Henry was duly installed into office as " boy 
of all work." 

He staid in this situation about six months, and was then 
compelled to leave, as he found his labors still more ardu- 
ous than in his former place. Every morning he was obliged 
to drive the old lady to market, often starting as early as 
?> o'clock ; and while she was haggling and purchasing of 
the wholesalers, he was compelled to sit in the wagon, two, 
three, and sometimes four hours at a time, Jack Frost in the 
meanwhile taking all sorts of liberties with his defenceless 
nose and ears. Cold or hot, wet or dry, there he had to 
wait, with nothing to cheer him but the prospect of a scanty 
breakfast, and a hard day's work. The old lady was a 
very tight, penurious body, and although well-to-do in the 
world, would stint herself and her help, if by so doing she 
could gain a penny. Sometimes in a very cold morning, 
she would indulge in a cup of coffee, which was always on 
sale at the market ; this she would drink, in sight of the 
freezing boy, nor ever think of offering him the dregs of the 
cup, of v.'hich he would gladly have partaken, had the chance 
been given him. 

Soon after leaving the old lady, Henry engaged on "trial" 
with a butcher, and after serving three or four months, both 
parties seemed satisfied, and a permanent engagement was 
entered into. It is the usual custom in England, for the 
parents or guardian of an apprentice to give a bonus of from 
five to fifty pounds sterling, to the master. Smith's father 
was willing to give a handsome sum on this occasion, but 
as the boy was well suited with the master, and the master 
with the boy, no bonus money was demanded or paid. 

A London butcher goes to Smithfield market every morn- 
ing, buys his pigs, sheep and cattle "on the hoof," drives 
them to his place of business, kills and dresses them, and 
disposes of the meat to his customers, either by wholesale 
or retail. Henry's business was to drive the beasts from the 
market to the shop, go after orders while his master was 
killing and dressing, and afterwards take the meat round to 
the several customers. Sometimes he carried a basket, at 
other times a butcher's tray, and occasionally would carry 
the legs and shoulders in his hand. For a few months, 
Henry was wonderfully pleased with his situation ; every 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 11 

thing worked well, both parties were satisfied, and he began 
to congratulate himself upon being at last comfortably set- 
tled in a good situatii>n. But he was mistaken in his calcu- 
lations, and was doomed to disappointment, as we shall soon 
lee. 

One Saturday niglit, just as the shop was about being 
closed, a servant girl stepped in, and ordered a leg of mut- 
ton for her mistress, and Henry was directed to carry it 
home, a distance of nearly a mile. Although somewhat 
tired, and more disposed to sleep than to take a long walk, 
the boy took his load, and placing it in a tray, trudged off 
•on his errand. In London, the butchers' boys pride them- 
selves hugely on the scientific manner in which they can 
carry their trays. Some of the naost expert poise them on 
their heads, while others less skilled in the science of equi- 
librium, carry them on their shoulders. A " scientific" 
boy will carry a well filled tray on his head through the 
most crowded thoroughfare, alternately walking, running 
and jumping, without once using his hands to steady his 
burthen. On this occasion, it being rather dark, and but 
few people in the street, our boy thought it would afford an 
excellent opportunity to practice the art of carrying the tray 
upon his head. Like every young tyro when making an 
attempt at a new business, he imagined every passer-by to 
be looking at him, and he felt as proud as he trudged along 
with stiffened neck and erect head, as though he had worn 
a golden crown, instead of a butcher's tray. But alas for 
human pride ! Like too many mortals whose heads bear 
heavy burthens, poor Henry was soon destined to lose his 
crown, for in hastily crossing the street, in order to avoid a 
coming omnibus, he lost his equilibrium, and down went 
tray and mutton into the reeking gutter. He quickly picked 
up the spoils, and observing a man busily engaged in wash- 
ing a chaise in an adjoining stable, he hastened to the spot, 
and begged the privilege of washing the mud from the un- 
fortunate mutton. The request granted, Henry soused the 
meat in the tub of dirty water, and rubbed it thoroughly, and 
then wiped it carefully whh his blue worsted apron, 
until, by the dim light reflected from a distant lamp, 
it appeared to be perfectly clean. He then continued 
his journey, and on arriving at his place of destination, rung 



12 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

the bell, and as soon as the servant appeared, dropped the 
precious mutton in her hands, and hastily departed shop- 
ward, before any questions could be asked. He got back 
in time to help his master shut up shop, but just as the latter 
was in the act of locking the door, the servant girl appeared 
with the leg of mutton, saying that her mistress had conclu- 
ded to have a shoulder instead, and had sent her back to 
change it. On re-entering the shop and procuring a light, 
the master took the mutton, and was about to hang it upon a 
hook, when he observed its dingy and smutty appearance. 

" You have dropped this in the mud," said he, turning to 
the girl. 

" Indeed sir, I have not," replied she, feeling somewhat 
embarrassed, for she suspected who was at fault, and, ser- 
vant-like, wished to screen the boy if possible. 

" Then it must have been you that dropped it," said the 
master, looking at Henry. 

" No, sir, it was not me," retm-ned the boy, plumply. 

" Tell the truth, you young scamp," exclaimed the butch- 
er roughly, as he eyed more carefully the tell-tale mutton, 
"tell the truth, or I'll knock you down with the cleaver." 

" Don't strike me, sir, and I'll tell the truth," gasped Henry, 
" it was me that dropped it, but it was by accident, and 1 
hope you'll forgive me." 

" I shall do no such thing, you young scapegrace," replied 
the man, " you have told a willful lie, and a boy that will lie 
will steal. I knew you dropped the meat, for I detected the 
blue wool from your apron upon it. Begone from my 
shop, and never darken my doors again. As it is Saturday 
night, you may stay at my house over Sunday, and on Mon- 
day morning 1 shall expect you to leave me, as I cannot 
consent to harbor liars in my house or shop." 

It was with a heavy heart that the boy left his comfortable 
situation, which had pleased him so much, and started home- 
ward again. We will not say but that the master was too 
severe in casting the boy off at the first oflence. But, be 
that as it may, Henry learned a good lesson which he never 
has forgotten. He was made to know the truth of the old 
adage, that " honesty is the best policy." If his first lie had 
remained undetected, or had been too easily forgiven, there 
is no telling how far he might have been led in iniquity and 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 13 

folly. But the first error meeting so severe a rebuke, caused 
the boy to reflect, and determined him to beware a repe- 
tition of his sin. 

On arriving home, the boy explained to his father the 
cause of his sudden appearance, and begged his forgiveness. 
The old man was grieved at his son's error, but attributing it 
to boyish thoughtlessness rather than a depraved heart, he 
gave him a brief lesson upon the subjects of Truth and Hon- 
esty, and forgave him. 



CHAPTER III. 

Henry stays at home for a short time. — Enters a calico printing es- 
tablishment. — Pays his footing. — A general spree. — Intoxicated for 
the first time.— Carried home cbunk. — Headache the next day. — 
Hair of the same dog, &c. 

Henry stayed at home for some months, helping his father 
as before, in light, transient jobs. 

Close to his father's house, was an extensive calico print- 
ing establishment, and as he was well known to the over- 
seers, he managed to be taken in as an apprentice. No in- 
dentures were signed, although it was understood between 
the parties that the boy should serve seven years. 

At that time, it was an invariable custom in England for 
every apprentice or journeyman, to " pay the footing," or, in 
other words, to " treat all hands," on going to work in a new 
establishment. To refuse to do this, waste court the curses 
and anathemas of all hands. It is an old saying that there is 
no peace for the wicked. In England, there was no peace 
for the man or boy who refused to pay his footing. There 
was no end to the mischievous pranks, and oftentimes ma- 
licious tricks which were played upon refractory members, 
by their revengeful fellow w'orkmen. It was always thought 
to be the safest plan to pay the footing, however unable the 
pocket might be to defray the expense, or the conscience un- 
willins to countenance the custom. 



14 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

When Smith joined the print works, there were several 
other apprentices taken in at the same time, and it was con- 
cluded to have the footings altogether, and so indulge in a 
grand, general spree. The new apprentices paid in one 
guinea each, to which the journeymen and older apprentices 
added each a shilling. 

On the night appointed, all hands (there were no teetotal- 
lers then,) repaired to the tavern, where a good substantial 
supper, and an unlimited quantity of ale was provided for 
them. A prolonged and boisterous carouse ensued, the new 
apprentices, as a matter of course being compelled to drink, 
whether they would or no. Smith, as might be supposed, 
was thoroughly initiated into the art and mystery of beer 
guzzling, and at the conclusion of the spree, sometime after 
midnight, was for the first time in his life, taken home to his 
father's house in a state of beastly intoxication. As such 
things were common on " footing" occasions, his father took 
no notice of it, as he would have been more surprised had 
his son reached home sober, after such a spree. 

The next morning Henry rose early, unrefreshed by his 
uneasy slumbers. His tongue was parched, his nerves un- 
strung, and his brain seemed on fire. After quenching his 
thirst from the " old oaken bucket," he proceeded to the print 
works, where he was hailed by his fellow apprentices, and 
invited to drink. It was in vain that he declined the proffer- 
ed cup, and plead a severe headache and a distaste for ale. 
A hair from the same dog that had bitten him the night be- 
fore, was insisted upon, and sure enough, upon trying the 
remedy, and giving two or three hearty swigs at the ale-can, 
his headache vanished, and he found himself getting quite 
well again. And thus were the first lessons in drunkenness 
learned. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 15 



CHAPTER IV. 

The effects of bad example.— Smith gets into evil habits. — Leaves his 
father's house. — Goes to ale house. —Becomes potboy. — Getsem.- 
ployment at his trade. — llelapses and leaves his native village. 

The subsequent career of our young friend may be easily 
imagined. With the evil e.xample of his elder shopmates 
constantly -before him, it is not to be wondered at that he 
soon learned to guzzle beer with the best of them, and that 
in due time he became a confirmed drunkard. Although 
but fifteen years of age, he looked much older, and being of 
a manly appearance, soon got introduced into company, and 
became a frequent visitor at the several village ale houses. 
His father did not exact from him the prompt payment of 
his board, and thus having the additional means at his com- 
mand by which to indulge in habits of extravagance, he 
gradually advanced in the lessons taught him, until he be- 
came a finished adept in dram-drinking. 

For a long time he kept his father in ignorance of his do- 
ings. His mother often screened him, and if by any mis- 
chance her husband's suspicions were aroused, she would, 
mother-like, bo sure to save her son from exposure. For 
three yeai'S he managed to pursue his downward career, be- 
fore his father suspected him. But at last he was detected, 
and again and still again did the father have undeniable 
proof of his son's sad direliction from the path of rectitude. 
He bore with him for a time, and frequently would expostu- 
late with him ; but his forbearance was all in vain. Every 
succeeding day only seemed to convince him that there was 
no hope of the young man's reformation. At length, wearied 
and disgusted with his conduct, he forbade him his house, 
and told him never to enter beneath the paternal roof again 
until he had learned to be a sober man. 

And now behold young Smith, leaving the home of his 
youth, the society of his father and mother, his sisters and 
brothers, and taking up his residence in a public ale house. 
Foolish youth that he was, he rejoiced at the change. He 
felt relieved from the obnoxious surveillance of his parents, 



Ig LIFE OF HENKY SMITH, 

and esteemed it a great privilege that he could now do as he 
pleased, stay out as late at night as he chose, drink as much 
beer as he liked, and have no person to call him to an ac- 
count for his actions. Poor, infatuated boy ! he had only 
taken another and a wider stride towards that dark gulf 
which was even then yawning to receive him. 

It was not long after he had changed his residence, before 
he began to neglect his business. As might have been ex- 
pected, he soon lost the confidence of his employers, and at 
length was discharged from their establishment. 

After remaining idle until all his money was gone, and 
his credit exhausted, he was compelled to hire himself as 
" pot boy" to the keeper of the house where he boarded, 
receiving for compensation his food and lodging, and a given 
quantity of ale per day. The duty of a " pot boy" is to 
go round in the early part of the day, and supply the cus- 
tomers with beer, which is taken to them in pint and quart 
pots. In the afternoon, he goes round again and collects the 
empty pots, and returning to the ale house, finds employ- 
ment during the rest of the day in cleaning and scouring 
them for the next day's use, and in doing such menial jobs 
about the house as no other servant will stoop to. After 
serving in this low capacity some few months, business got 
to be rather driving at the print works, and one of the over- 
seers called upon him and offered him employment on con- 
dition that he would keep sober. Smith gladly accepted the 
offer, and for a few months kept his word, and his friends 
congratulated him upon his reformation. But alas, their 
hopes were short-lived. Ale gained the mastery over rea- 
son, and again young Smith was discharged from his situa- 
tion. 



THE RAZOR STROP BIAN. 17 



CHAPTER V. 



Leaves his native village. — Finds employment in Camberwell — Is 
steady for a time. — Gets a new suit and starts for home. — Trifles 
with the old enemy. — Buys a donkey. — Donkey won't go. — Goes 
home by stage. — Old habits.-- Back to Camberwell. — Sells Donkey 
— Second and last horse trade. 

Ashamed of his conduct, Smith determined to leave his 
native village, and seek employment elsewhere. He pro- 
ceeded to Camberwell, a beautiful village a few miles the 
other side of London, where he soon succeeded in getting a 
situation in a small printing establishment. He kept sober 
for some months, and soon had money enough to purchase 
an entire new suit of clothes, which he had no sooner array- 
ed himself in, than he had a strong desire to visit his old 
home. Having by his abstinence entirely recovered his 
healthful and rosy appearance, he wished to show himself to 
his old acquaintances, and have them take knowledge of his 
improved position in society. 

One morning he dressed himself in his best suit, put what 
money he had saved in his pocket, and started for his native 
village, a distance of twelve or fourteen miles. Having to 
pass an ale house on his way, he thought he would step in 
and take just one taste of his favorite beverage — only one. 
He had abstained so long that the first gla.ss had a greater 
effect than usual, and before he hardly knew what he was 
about, he had swallowed a second and a third, by which 
time he was, as the phrase goes, as happy as a lord. Befoi'e 
drinking, he felt none too good to walk home, but now he 
must needs ride, or not go at all ; and he felt so rich that he 
must even ride upon his own beast too. He bethought him 
of a donkey his employer owned, rather the worse for wear 
to be sure, but still a donkey, and that was all he wished for. 
Back he posts to his employer, and prices the poor beast. 
The terms being soon agreed on. Smith mounts his swift 
courser, and turning his head homewards, commenced his 
journey, feeling as proud as an Alexander on his Bucepha- 
lus. The donkey went very well until she arrived at a toll- 
gate at the end of the village, when she deliberately halted, 



IS LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

and positively refused to budge another inch. Smith whack- 
ed, the boys shouted, and the men laughed, but donkey ob- 
stinately refused to advance. The yellings and hootings of 
the bystanders so mortified our well dressed young gentle- 
man, that he concluded to turn back and carry Sir Donkey 
home again. She trotted back very willingly, and on arri- 
ving at the stable, the mystery of her stubbornness was ex- 
plained. She had lost her foal the day before, and instinct- 
ively clung to the place where it lay. After tying her in 
the stable, Smith went out and bought hay enough to keep 
her alive until his return, and then took . the stage for home. 

On arriving at his native village, it was not long before he 
fell in with one and another of his old cronies, and as might 
be expected, he soon became ensnared in the same ruinous 
habits which had previously cursed him, and blighted all his 
fair prospects. In a week, his money was gone, and his 
fine new coat exchanged for an old one. Ashamed and 
discouraged, he departed and returned to Camberwell. 
Feeling little inclined to work, he thought he would go to 
London and see the play ; but having no money, he re-sold 
ills donkejr to his employer, for less than the original cost, 
throwing in the hay and grain as a bonus. 

This was his first horse (or donkey) trade. His second 
and last one was made in" the winter of 1846-7, and as his 
account of it, as published in a letter to the editor of the Bos- 
ton Washingtonian, is so originally humorous, we will in- 
sert it here, for the mere fun of the thing. 

" When I was in Virginia, I stopped at a small town, and 
seeing a crowd around the Court House, I mixed myself in 
the company, and saw that a horse was put up for sale at 
auction. The auctioneer begged lustily for a bid, and as I 
am rather short-sighted, and supposing that the horse was 
actually alive, (for I thought I saw him kick once,) I bid ten 
dollars, just to start him, not thinking that he would be knock- 
ed down to me. But no sooner did the old fellow hear my 
bid, than his confounded hammer came down kerwhack, 
and the horse was pronounced gone. I put on my specta- 
cles, and sure enough the old fellow if not gone completely, 
was going very fast. I paid my ten dollars, and then drag- 
ged my neighing steed to a neighboring stable, where I in- 
troduced him to some old acquaintances of his, whom he 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 19 

had not seen for a long time before, viz. — fresh hay and 
grain. Wliile he was eating, a man told me he would buy 
him if he would draw ; I told him there was no doubt of 
that, for he had already drawn ten dollars out of my pocket, 
and that was more than any other horse had ever done be- 
fore. After the old critter had finished his meal, I put him 
before a cart, and although he would n't go himself, he made 
the cart go, for he kicked the front part of it into a general 
cocked up hat. 1 then tied a handkerchief over his eyes, 
and gave him a cut in the rear with one of my strops, and 
away he went like a locomotive, until the handkerchief slip- 
ped off, and then he stopped short. I then got a horse and 
buggy, and tied the old fellow behind, but he was like the 
moderate drinkers when we try to hitch them onto the tem- 
perance car, he held back most awfully. I next tied him to 
the side of the horse in the buggy, and then started, and ev- 
ery time the old critter held back, the wheel of the buggy 
was on his heels, and he was obliged to go, though much 
against his will ; just so with the moderate drinkers ; we, I'e- 
formed drunkards, tread on their heels until they get so 
sore that they are compelled to seek for safety in the arms 
of the temperance society. The pledge is a sovereign balm 
for sore heels and sick headaches. After trying all sorts of 
ways to get rid of my old horse, I at last reached Peters- 
burgh, and there I took a new start, and jumped on his back 
and rode him through the town, making as much noise as a 
man would who had lost his razor strop and could n't see me 
to get another one, and at last managed to sell him for seven 
dollars, to a man who was shorter-sighted than I was, and 
who had left his specs at home. 

My horse is gone, that poor old beast, 

I ne'er shall see him more, 
His like was never seen behind, 

Nor ever seen before. 

That he both sure and steadfast was, 

I am compelled to say, 
For let me leave him where I would, 

He ne'er would run away. 

A first rate horse to draw wa.s he, 

(A fact which made me proud,) 
For wheresoe'er he went, he would 

Be sure to draw a crowd. 



20 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

■ He draws in life so wonderful, 
I think he '11 draw in death, 
For when I sold him, I did think 
He'd soon draw his last breath. 



CHAPTER VI. 

Donkey money all gone. — Smith moves to another village. — Gets 
employment. — Home-sick again. — Gets into the pig trade. — 
Visits home. — Becomes a pot-boy once more. — Goes to Westham 
Abbey.— Behaves better.— Affection of the heart.— The power 
of woman. 

In a day or two his donkey money was all expended, 
and being ashamed to go back to Camberwell, he took a 
stroll into the adjoining county ; and in the village of Mi- 
chen, about nine miles from the city, he succeeded in 
procuring employment. 

Here, as at Camberwell, he managed to keep sober for a 
few months, until he was again attacked with a fit of 
" home-sickness." His employer did not owe him enough 
to purchase a new suit of clothes, and therefore in oi'der 
the better to procure what he wanted without asking for 
advance money ^ he hit upon the following expedient : — His 
employer had three nice pigs, which Smith purchased on 
credit at a good round sum, with the understanding that he 
should work them out on his return. These he immedi- 
ately sold for ten shillings less than he had agreed to pay, 
to a neighboring farmer. 

Once more equipped in a new suit, and with a bright 
sovereign in his pocket, he turned his face homeward 
again, only to re-enact the same disgraceful scenes per- 
formed at previous visits, wounding the hearts of his parents 
and friends, and effectually blasting his own reputation. 
His money spent, clothes pawned, and credit exhausted, 
he returns to his employer at Michen. He had no sooner 
worked long enough to pay for the pigs before mentioned, 
ere he was dismissed from his situation solely on account 
of his irregular habits. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 2\ 

Again he returns to Waltham Abbey — gets employment 
in the old establishment — is discharged again — returns to 
his situation of pot-boy at the ale-house, and sinks lower 
and lower in the scale of intemperance. 

Hearing one day of an opening in a large silk printing 
establishment in Westham Abbey, a few miles distant, he 
proceeded thither, and was successful in securing a situa- 
tion. Here his conduct became somewhat improved. Al- 
though he drank a little, yet he managed to keep from get- 
ting intoxicated. He boarded with a very worthy man, 
whose house was so much like a home to him, that he felt 
but little inclination to visit the ale-house, preferring, very 
wsely, the company of his friend and his family to that of 
the topers and loungers with whom he had been used to 
associate. There was another reason for his keeping 
steady, which we may as well mention. Mr. Sampson, the 
man with whom he boarded, had a pretty daughter of about 
eighteen years of age, who was, at that time, residing in 
London. She was in the habit of visiting home once in 
every two or three weeks, and staying over the Sabbath. 
Her good looks, amiable deportment, and other attractive 
qualities, made such an impression upon Smith, that he 
was sure to avoid the ale-house when Elizabeth was ex- 
pected home. As he became better acquainted with her, 
his partiality increased ; and, as a matter of course, he felt 
bound to be more circumspect in his conduct, and to be 
careful how he indulged in his old habits. In a few months 
he found that his repeated acts of attention and courtesy 
were not thrown away, but that the lady evidently regarded 
him with favor. This led him to be still more cautious in 
his conduct, not only while she was at home, but at all 
times, for he well knew that on his being known publicly 
as her suitor, all his previous faults would be brought to 
bear against him, by the village gossips. It was evident 
that he had imbibed a passion stronger even than his long- 
cherished habits of dram-drinking. He kept sober and at- 
tended faithfully to his business for the period of a twelve- 
month, at the expiration of which time, having been duly 
accepted by his lady-love, he resolved to get married and 
commence life anew. 



S2 LIFE OP HENRY SMtTH, 



CHAPTER VIT. 

Gets married. — Friends remember him. — Pretty wife, snug cottage, 
handsome furniture, and plenty of work. — Tries "one glass." — 
Kelapses again. — Grows worse and worse. — Becomes insane. — 
Turns chimney-sweeper. — Gets his head shaved. 

We now find our hero in a new and a happier position, — 
that of a husband. No sooner was the nuptial knot tied, 
than, according to universal British custom, the friends of 
the new married pair sent in their little presents in the 
shape of articles of furniture, cooking utensils, &c., so 
that, in a few weeks, they were comfortably established in 
a snug little cottage, well furnished with all the necessary 
articles, and a few of the ornaments and luxuries of house- 
keeping. 

Smith was now happy ; his wife was happy ; his rela- 
tions and friends were happy. Everything looked prom- 
ising. He avoided the ale-house, and spent all his leisure 
hours with his pretty young wife. He earned between 
three and four pounds sterling per week, and could easily 
save one third, and still live comfortably and enjoy life and 
its blessings. With a prudent, good tempered, and indus- 
trious wife, a well furnished house, steady employment, 
good wages, and a host of kind hearted, worthy friends, he 
were a madman to go back to his cups again. 

Some four or five months after his marriage, Smith, on 
going home one night after an unusual hard day's work, 
thought he would drop into the ale-house, as he went along, 
and try just one glass. Oh ! that fatal glass ! He had for- 
gotten how many, many times it had betrayed him and 
brought him to shame, and even want. Need we say that 
that one glass brought him to the earth ? that he soon called 
for another, and another, and still another, until he was 
hopelessly intoxicated ? It was even so. Poor fellow ! 
like thousands and tens of thousands of others, he stumbled 
over a straw, which, small as it appeared, was as effectual 
in throwing him, as though it had been a pillar of Trojan. 
Once over the line of sobriety, his ruin was the work of 
but a day. His appetite was now ungovernable. Wife, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 23 

and home, and friends were forgotten and neglected, and 
the ale-house became his heaven. So frequent and violent 
were his debauches, that at length his reason began to give 
way, and he would frequently become perfectly insane 
after a deep carousal. Many were the mad pranks he com- 
mitted on these occasions, some of them so outrageous in 
their character that, if related, they would hardly be be- 
lieved. We will mention a fe\v cases, however, just for the 
purpose of showing how very foolish a sensible, good natured 
man (as Smith was allowed to be when sober) will act when 
under the influence of alcohol. 

Being in a public house one night, the conversation turned 
upon a method just discovered of cleaning chimneys. One 
man remarked that nothing could ever be invented that 
would beat a smart boy in cleaning chimneys. Another 
averred that the machine in question was superior to all the 
boys in the kingdom ; and so the company Vv'ere divided in 
their opinions. At length. Smith, who had hitherto taken 
no part in the conversation, jumped up, and saying that he 
would show them a machine that would go ahead of any 
thing they had ever seen before, ran to the fire-place, and 
in a minute was scrambling up the chimney and pulling the 
soot down by the hands-full. He could not be prevailed 
upon to come down from his smutty elevation until his com- 
panions had acknowledged his superiority as a chimney- 
sweeper over any kind of machine. 

On another occasion, going by a barber's with a shop- 
mate. Smith took a notion to go in and get his head shaved. 
No sooner said than executed. He entered the shop, took 
a seat in a chair, and ordered the barber to shave off every 
particle of hair from his head. In vain did the barber and 
his friend expostulate. He would have it off, and ofi" it 
was shaved, and our hero arose from his seat with a pate as 
bald as Methuselah's. His whiskers were also swept by 
the board. On putting on his hat it dropped over iiis nose 
and rested very cosily on his chin. On their way home, 
Smith and his friend stopped at an ale-house, and on going 
into the kitchen found the cook busily engaged in frying 
some meat. On seeing Smith's bald pate and face, the 
girl shrieked, and would have run, had not his companion 
caught her by the arm and whispered in her ear that Smith 



24 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

was an escaped convict, almost starved, and who only asked 
the privilege of sopping a piece of dry bread in the frying- 
pan. The girl granted his request, and dodging out of a 
side-door, gave the alarm that a thief had just escaped from 
jail and w^s then in the kitchen. Smith had hardly fin- 
ished his repast when two policemen entered and took him 
in charge, and to jail he would have really been taken, had 
not several of his acquaintance been close at hand to testify 
to his real character. 

" It is an ill wind that blows nobody good." So thought 
Smith's friends on this occasion, for he was so ashamed of 
his appearance the next day, that he vowed he would drink no 
more liquor until his hair should be grown out again. 

In a few months his head presented its wonted appear- 
ance, and his beer-guzzling habits were resumed. The first 
spree he had he went into the same barber''s shop and had 
one whisker shaved off, and for an entire week he roamed 
from ale-house to ale-house, with one side of his face as 
hairy as the back of a Eussian bear, and the other as 
smooth as a lady's hand. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

Smith continues to drink. — A temperance meeting is held in the 
village. — Smith invited to attend. — Short-sleeved coat. — Goes to 
meeting and signs the pledge for one month. — The Quaker lady. 
— Signs the pledge for life. 

We might go on and enumerate scenes of senseless, 
witless pranks, committed by Smith while under the influ- 
ence of strong drink, but those we have given will suffice to 
show to what a low state he was degraded, and how com- 
pletely he was bound to his idols. We have given these 
instances for the purpose of showing how far a naturally 
active, industrious, sensible, shrev/d man may be led from 
the path of propriety, by indulging in the intoxicating cup; 



THE RA^OR STROP MAN. 25 

and also to show that, low and degraded as he was, he has 
lived to break the fettere that bound hun, and has been ena- 
bled, by the blessing of God, to remain firm and steadfast 
to this day. Let no drunkard despair ; if one so uttei*ly 
•and entirely given over to intemperance as was Henry 
Smith, could be saved, then is there hope for any and every 
votary of the bottle ; for we doubt if there be a man living 
who is farther gone in intemperate habits, than Smith was 
•at the time of which we have been speaking. 

Smith continued to indulge in habits of intoxication, with 
Tarief intervals of " moderation," until the winter of 1835-6. 
Sometimes he would keep sober for a month or two, and 
just as he had recovered himself, and had saved a few shil- 
lings, away he would go upon another spree, growing worse 
with every succeeding debauch. His wife and his friends 
had given him up as being past recovery ; he had even 
lost all hope for himself. 

In January, 1836, some religious men of the village 
where Smith lived, having witnessed, with sorrow and con- 
sternation, the awful havoc which intemperance had made, 
and was still making, in their otherwise happy neighbor- 
hood, among the young and the old, the married and the 
single ; and having heard of the wonderful reclamation of 
drunkards, through the instrumentalities of drunkards them- 
selves, called a private meeting, and, after some friendly 
discussion, concluded to form a total abstinence society, on 
the plan now so universally adopted, both in this country 
and in Europe. They wrote to London to secure the ser- 
vices of Mr. VVhittaker, a reformed man and celebrated as 
a lecturer, who was at that time the agent of the British 
and Foreign Temperance Society. 

In a kw days after Mr. Whittaker arrived, and was duly 
announced to deliver a course of lectures upon the evils of 
intemperance, to which all were invited, and especially 
those who were in the habit of using intoxicating liquors. 

On the first evening Smith could not be prevailed upon 
to attend, although several of his shopmates accepted the 
invitation extended to them. The next morning they were 
loud in their praises of the speaker, and dwelt with warm 
enthusiasm upon the intense interest created by his thrilling 
experience. They all concluded their encomiums upon 
2 



26 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

the speaker and his lecture, by inviting Smith to attend the 
next meeting. One of his shopmates, in particular, himself 
a drinker of beer in no very moderate quantity, was very 
strenuous in coaxing " old soaker," as he was familiarly 
called, to attend. 

[Smith was indebted for his flattering soubriquet of "old 
soaker," to the following circumstance : — One of his shop- 
mates had a dog who was very fond of bread soaked in 
beer, and would frequently get quite fuddled on it, so that 
he became legally entitled to the name of " old soaker," 
which his master gave him. Smith's habits were thought 
to be so much like " old soaker's," that tlie name at length 
attached to him, so that he had the honor of being named 
after a drunken dog! A flattering distinction, truly.] 

In reply to the pressing invitation of his shopmate to at- 
tend the temperance meeting. Smith answered, that if he 
would lend him a shilling he would go, without fail. To 
this proposal his friend assented, on condition that Smith 
would not spend it until after the meeting was over. When 
the day's work was finished, Smith demanded and received 
his shilling, which he intended to spend as soon as the lec- 
ture was over, — it never occurring to his mind that he might 
be in any way benefitted by the speaker's remarks. 

After supper he told his wife of his engagement, and in- 
vited her to go with him. His coat was so ragged that he 
was ashamed to wear it, and insisted upon his wife's bor- 
rowing her brother's coat, to be used " for that night only," 
as the play bills say. The borrowed coat proved to be a 
bad fit, for although the body was large enough, the sleeves 
were altogether too short, hardly reaching within two inches 
of his wrist. Smith got over this dilemma by thrusting both 
hands very deep into his breeches' pockets ; and in this 
plight, with his wife hanging on one arm, he wended his 
way to the first temperance meeting he ever attended in 
his life. 

Stealthily he walked into the hall, and unobserved took a 
seat in an obscure corner, where he patiently awaited the 
appearance of the lecturer. 

Mr. Whittaker commenced his address in a plain, simple, 
yet truly eloquent manner. He dwelt particularly on his 
own thrilling experience, and in a masterly style portrayed 



THE RAZOR STROP MAK. 27 

to his hearers the evils of intemperance on the one hand, 
and of the blessings of sobriety on the other. His tale was 
simple, yet intensely powerful, and many a tearful eye in 
that assembly, told of the wonderful effect his eloquent re- 
cital had upon the hearts of his auditors. Smith drank in 
every word. He had never heard such speaking before. 
It seemed as though his own experience had been related 
instead of the lecturer's. His heart was melted, and his 
judgment convinced. When, at the close of the meeting, 
the pledge was passed round. Smith signed to drink no more 
for one month, for he was fearful of trying it for life, lest 
he should be unable to keep it. 

He went home that night with a light heart, for he 
thought he could see a ray of light peering through the 
murky darkness which had enveloped him for so long a 
time. He felt that there was hope for even him. 

The next day he went to work as usual. Some of his 
shopmates congratulated him and bid him God-speed, while 
others derided him and called him fool for signing " tee- 
total." 

" No matter," said Smith, " I'd better be a sober fool 
than a drunken fool. I've been a drunken fool for many 
years, and as I am convinced that beer is not good for a 
fool in any way, I'll try and be a sober fool for a month, at 
all events." 

He was sorely tempted -to drink, especially when beer 
was brought into the factory at 11 and 4 o'clock, but he 
nobly and firmly resisted the old enemy, and faithfully kept 
his pledge until the expiration of the month. 

It happened that on the veiy day on which the month 
expired, a benevolent quaker lady of the village visited Mrs. 
Smith, and made inquiries after her husband's welfare. 
Being told of his faithful adherence to the pledge, and of 
the promising state of affairs which necessarily followed at 
home, the good lady advised I\Irs. Smith to induce her hus- 
band, if possible, on his return home from supper, to sign 
the pledge for life. 

Smith had performed a hard day's work, and on his way 
home his mind naturally reverted to his previous habit of 
stopping at the ale-house, to recruit his strength, before tak- 
ing his evening meal. While congratulating himself upon 



28 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

the pleasing change in his feelings and desires, induced by 
a single month's abstinence, he reached his house, and, on 
entering, was struck with the marvellous change in his 
wife's appearance, as contrasted with her looks a few short 
weeks before. She was singing as merrily as any lark, 
and her countenance was as bright and cheerful as it used 
to be in days long since passed away. She had been think- 
ing of the kind words of the good quaker lady, and already 
dreamed that her husband had signed the pledge for life. 
The sound -of her merry voice, and the glad smile with 
which she welcomed him home, had the proper effect upon 
her husband, who could not help congratulating her upon 
her improved appearance. Only one month a teetotaler, 
thought he, and wife singing like a nightingale. Wonder 
how she'll feel if I sign for life ? 

While he was eating his supper, his wife told him of the 
visit of the quaker lady, and of her remarks in relation to 
him. Smith had already concluded on the course to pur- 
sue. As soon as he had finished his frugal meal, he bade 
his wife put on her shawl and hood, and taking her arm in 
his, he walked with her to the quaker lady's house, where he 
affixed his name to the pledge of total abstinence from all 
intoxicating drinks, for life. It was the greatest action he 
had ever performed, if we may judge from its results. The 
foundation stone of his existence was laid. He was a new 
man. He felt it in every pulsation of his heart, and so did 
his young wife, and they rejoiced together as they had never 
rejoiced before. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 29 



CHAPTER IX. 

Smith becomes a temperance advocate. — Rebukes his old rebukers. 
— Goes into neighboring villages. — Meets with great success. — 
Pleasant over-work. — Becomes a Rechabite. 

Up to the time of his signing the " month pledge," 
Smith had been considered the worst drunkard in the fac- 
tory. He was now the first and only teetotaller among his 
hundreds of shopmates. True to that instinct which is al- 
ways sure to manifest itself in the heart of the honest, true 
hearted reformed drunkard, he began to preach to his drink- 
ing companions. Those Very men who had avoided him 
before for his extreme intemperance, and who had called 
him, in derision, " old soaker," now shrunk from him from 
a different motive. They had upbraided /tm for his drunk- 
enness ; now he took them to task for their moderate 
drinking. He often reminded them of their former re- 
marks, and besought them to turn from their cups, and 
avoid the yawning gulf from which he had so narrowly es- 
caped. Nor were his efforts in vain. They could not but 
observe the great change for the better in his appearance. 
He who was once ragged, drunken and quarrelsome, was 
now well dressed, sober and peaceful. He was saving his 
money while they were squandering theirs. It was not long 
before he made a convert, and then another, and still an- 
other, until in a few months he had thirty or forty of his 
companions with him on the pledge, and those who could 
not be prevailed upon to sign, were led to be more circum- 
spect and cautious in their habits, and drank much less than 
they had formerly been accustomed to. 

But it was not among his shopmates alone that he la- 
bored. He attended all the temperance meetings in the 
village, and frequently told his experience, always with a 
good effect. He soon gained confidence enough to go 
abroad and lecture, in his rough, unpolished manner, to the 
people of neighboring towns. The good success that at- 
tended his labors gave him a satisfaction that cheered him 
on to still greater efforts, until in a short time he became a 
quite successful and popular lecturer. 



30 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

At this time he earned from ten to twelve dollars per 
week ; and, as his lectures in the neighboring towns were 
always held in the evening, he suffered no loss of time or 
money ; and as for his health, it was necessarily benefitted, 
rather than impaired, by his agreeable " over-work." In 
fact, he found that working " after hours," in a good cause, 
was much more conducive to health of mind and body, 
than the same amount of time spent in the ale-house, under 
the excitement of liquor, could possibly be. 

He had been a teetotaller but a few months, when ho 
joined the Independent Order of Rechabites, a temperance 
beneficial organization, which had a few years before taken 
its origin in Manchester, and was at that time fast spreading 
over the kingdom. There are now, we believe, over 
twelve hundred " Tents," or branches of this excellent or- 
der, in Great Britain, and about five hundred in the United 
States and in the Canadas. 



CHAPTER X, 

Smith's -wages reduced. — Will not succumb. — Goes to London.-— 
American ships. — Engages a voyage to the United States. — Bids 
his Mends farewell. — Tokens of friendship. — Leaves England. 

It is unnecessary to follow Smith minutely in his career. 
Suffice it to say that he kept his pledge faithfully, and la- 
bored arduously to carry forward and enforce the great 
principles of total abstinence among his fellow-men. He 
felt the happy effects of a temperance life, in health, in rep- 
utation, and in every essential of social enjoyment. His 
house was well furnished, his table well spread, himself and 
his wife well clothed, and his pockets well filled with the 
proceeds of honest industry. He was a happy and a eon- 
tented man. 

Nothing of especial interest occurred in his history until 
the commencement of the year 1842, when the proprietors 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 31 

of the silk factory in which he worked reduced the wages 
of the hands employed there. Most of the workmen, in- 
cluding all those who drank, succumbed to the exactions of 
their employers. The reasons are obvious. Having spent 
their money as fast as they earned it, they were now pen- 
niless, and had not the means necessary to support them- 
selves and families during a " strike," or to take them to 
another part of the kingdom, where better wages were 
paid. 

Not so with Smith, however. He had saved something 
for a rainy day, and was resolved to stand out against the 
reduction, at all hazards. The " drinkers" had reported that 
the teetotallers would be the first to submit to the reduction, 
and Smith was bent on disproving this calumny, so far as 
himself was concerned. 

The proprietors, on giving notice of their intention to 
reduce the wages, gave the hands a few days to consider 
the subject before the rules were carried into effect. Smith 
and four or five others improved this opportunity to pay a 
visit to London, in order to see what chance thei*e might be 
to procure employment in the great metropolis. 

While strolling through the city, they by accident strag- 
gled towards the famous Catherine Docks, where hundreds 
ofs shipping, from all parts of the world, are to be seen. 
They were much delighted with the fine appearance of the 
ships, and of the neat and symmetrical American packets, 
in particular. Smith was highly pleased with one of the 
New York liners, the Hendrick Hudson, and while gazing 
at her, conceived, for the first time, the idea of visiting 
America. He made inquiries in regard to the price of 
passage, and, being told, resolved that he would try his for- 
tune in the New World. As the Hendrick Hudson sailed 
in a few days, he could not well go in her, but concluded 
to sail in another ship, the Ontario, which was advertised to 
sail ten days later. One of his companions agreed to go 
with him. 

He hastened home and informed his wife of his resolu- 
tion, and she immediately set about getting his things ready 
for his departure. As it was uncertain how he should suc- 
ceed, he thought it best to leave his wife in England until 



32 lilFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

he should get into buainess, when he could send for her ; 
or, in the event of failure, he could return home again. 

It is customary in England, when a workman leaves 
home and friends, for his shopmates to get up a subscrip- 
tion, or " petition," as it is called, for his benefit, as a token 
of their esteem and confidence, and as a kind memento to 
cheer him on his way. On this occasion. Smith's shop- 
mates raised about £6, which was an unusually large sum,, 
showing that he was held in good repute among his fel- 
lows. 

It is also the custom of the Rechabites, to return to a 
member who is about leaving, two thirds of the money he 
has paid into the society. As Smith had belonged to this 
institution for some length of time, and had drawn nothing 
out, he was entitled to a handsome sum. 

The friends of temperance, in the village in which he 
lived, also manifested their regard for him by presenting 
him with a beautiful silver medal. 

Having provided for the support of his wife during 
his absence, and taking with him sufficient money to 
defray his expenses to America and back, in case he 
should wish to return within a few months, he took leave 
of his friends and proceeded to London, where he imme- 
diately embarked on board the Ontario, bade adieu to 
old Albion, and turned his face towards the Westem 
World. The ship sailed on the 18th of January, 1842, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 33 



CHAPTER XL 

Smith an-ives in New York. — Makes the acquaintance of 'Rev, 
John Marsh. — Peddles spool cotton. — Value of kind words. — 
Becomes a carver of meats. — Nothing like perseverance. — Hi3 
shopmate returns to England. 

Nothing worth mentioning occurred during the voyage, 
which was unusually long and tedious, occupying two 
months from port to port. Most of the passengers were 
sick, and those who were well kept their berths most of the 
time. The ship reached New York on the 19th of March, 
and on the following morning Smith and his friend went on 
shore. The first place they stopped at, was a tavern, in 
Williams street, kept by an Englishman. Here they en" 
gaged lodgings for the time being, with the determination 
of seeking better quarters when they should becon^e bettef 
acquainted. Smith had letters of introduction from Rev. 
Jabez Burns, of London, Mr. Janson, a banker, and other 
gentlemen, to the Rev. John Marsh, of New York, the Sec- 
retary of the American Temperance Union. Mr. Marsh 
received him very cordially, and, on inquiring in regard to 
his business and future intentions, introduced him to a Mr. 
Bigelow, a gentleman of some influence in New York, who 
very kindly gave him, and his friend, letters of introduction 
to the proprietors of the print-works in Providence, R. I., 
there being no establishment of the kind, within his knowl- 
edge, in the State of New York. 

On consulting together, it was thought best, in order to 
save expense, that Smith should stay in New York, while 
his friend proceeded to Providence in search of employ- 
ment. In the meantime, Smith supported himself by going 
through the city and peddling some spool cotton, which he 
had brought with him from England, amounting, perhaps, 
to twenty dollars' worth, in all. As he wandered from 
street to street, and from house to house, he would inquire, 
on eveiy convenient occasion, for work, being willing to 
labor for a bare subsistence, until he should be better ac- 
quainted with the people and their customs. 

One night he wandered over to Brooklyn, and accosted 
2* 



34 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

the pedestrians as they passed him, asking them to buy his 
cotton. He happened to address two gentlemen, who stop- 
ped and questioned him in regard to his business and future 
prospects. He very honestly told them his name, business, 
desires, &c., &c., which so interested the gentlemen that 
they purchased a quantity of his cotton, and one of them 
remarked to him, in a kindly manner, that he was bound 
to succeed. 

" You are just the man," said he, " to prosper in this 
country. Be honest, temperate and industrious, and you 
will be a rich man before many years have passed over 
your head." 

Such words from a stranger were better to him than 
golden gifts, for it showed him that there was a way open 
for him, which, if he chose to walk in it, would lead to 
fame and fortune. 

A few days afterward, Smith went into an eating-house 
in Grand street, kept by a Mr. Shearwood, for the purpose 
of procuring a dinner. He observed, at one of the tables, 
Dr. Covert, a well known friend and advocate of temper- 
ance, whom he had often met at the different meetings ; for 
be it known that our friend omitted no opportunity of at- 
tending the temperance gatherings, which were held al- 
most every evening in some part of the city. Smith en- 
tered into conversation with the do'ctor, and informed him 
of his prospects and wants. The doctor very kindly of- 
fered to aid him in getting a situation, and subsequently 
spoke to Mr. Shearwood, the owner of the eating-house, who 
offered to engage Smith to actas carver in that establish- 
ment until he could get something better to do. As by this 
arrangement he would at least secure his board and lodg- 
ing, Smith thought it best to accept the offer, and become a 
carver of meats, until something better should present itself. 

He had been in this situation but a few days, when his 
companion returned from Providence, having been unsuc- 
cessful in procuring work. Not being possessed of Smith's 
persevering spirit, he soon got discouraged, and, on the first 
opportunity, returned to England. 



TSS RAZOR STROP MAN. 35 



CHAPTER XII. 

Smitli speaks on temperance. — Bxiys a retort. — Becomes a distiller 
on a small scale. — The singular old gentleman. — The first two 
dozen strops. — Hard luck. — Effects of perseverance. 

During the day Smith worked hard at his new business, 
but at night, having nothing to do, he became a regular 
visitant at the different temperance meetings held in the 
city. He was often invited to speak, and, in his droll man- 
ner, would as often favor his hearers with a recital of his 
adventures, which was generally listened to with much in- 
terest and attention. Thinking to give a greater interest to 
his remarks, he purchased a cheap retort and other disfilling 
apparatus, and publicly distilled alcohol from wine, beer, 
&;c. This was a novel idea, and served to draw large au- 
diences when it was known that he was to address the meet- 
ing. It was thus that he strengthened himself in his tem- 
perance principles, while at the same time he gathered 
around him a set of acquaintance whose habits and charac- 
ters were in unison with his own, and whose good influence, 
he has since been proud to acknowledge, has tended to 
keep him in the paths of honor and sobriety. 

One day, while busily engaged in carving huge joints 
of beef and pork, for the benefit of hungry customers, he 
observed a singular looking, middle aged gentleman enter 
the room and take a seat at one of the tables. After eat- 
ing a hearty dinner, he inquired jf he could be accommo- 
dated with lodgings, and was answered in the affirmative. 
He then went out. About ten o'clock that night the man re- 
turned and was shown to the room in which Smith slept. In 
a few minutes "Smith entered, and the two soon got into a 
friendly chat. After retiring to bed they continued their 
conversation, during which Smith related his history to his 
new acquaintance, whose name was Hillman. 

The next morning, Mr. Hillman told Smith that he 
thought he could put him in a way of doing better than 
he was then doing. 

" Here am I," said he, " an old man, compared with you, 
and yet I can make two dollars a day, selling razor strops ; 



36 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

and if you are as smart as you look to be, you can do 
better even than that.'" 

" But I don't understand peddling," replied Smith," never 
having sold any thing but a few spools of cotton. " Never 
mind," said Hillman, " if you are willing to learn, PU en- 
gage to teach you." 

After some further talk. Smith agreed to try the experi- 
ment, and if he did not succeed he could go back to carv- 
ing again. 

After breakfast, Hillman gave Smith two dozen strops,, 
and directed him how to proceed in order to sell them to 
the best advantage. The wholesale price, of these strops 
was two dollars per dozen, and Smith, as he had but little 
money, offered to leave his coat as security ; but Hillman 
generously refused it, and let him have them on his word of 
honor that he would pay for them as soon as he sold them. 

With his humble stock in trade. Smith started with a light 
heart, in quest of purchasers. He hardly dared to begin in 
the city, and so betook himself a k\v miles out, of town. 
Once out of the noise and uproar of the city, he felt free to 
commence operations, and soon began to solicit patronage. 
On he went from house to house, knocking at every door, 
and endeavoring with all the eloquence he was master of, 
to induce the inmates to buy his strops. But his sales were 
discouragingly few ; times were hard and money was scarce. 
On he went, farther and farther, until he got clear into the 
country, among the farmers. But the farther he went, the 
worse he fared. Nobody wanted his strops, and he was 
obliged to trudge back to the city with a heavy heart, but 
light pockets. 

Next morning he tried his luck again, in another direc- 
tion, but with little better success. He was determined, 
however, not to despair. He resolved that he would sell 
his two dozen strops, at all hazards, and he did sell them, 
although he was a long time — a fortnight — about it. 

For his two weeks' work he realized two dollars, and 
from this small sum his expenses for living had to be de- 
ducted. But he was economical, and managed to live with- 
in his means, so that notwithstanding his small profits, he 
found himself a little better off at the end of the fortnight 
than he was at the beginning. 



tHE RAZOR STROP MAN. 37 

We suppose that ninety-nine men in a hundred, had 
they been placed in Smith's position at this time, would have 
been totally discouraged, and would have given up in de- 
spair and sought some other business, perhaps again to be 
discouraged and again to give up. Smith's extraordinary 
success in selling strops, since his first unfortunate and dis- 
couraging efforts, shows most pointedly the necessity of per- 
severance under the most threatening and obstinate difficul- 
ties. . His perseverance at this time was, in its kind, ae 
praiseworthy as the perseverance of Napoleon, Charles XII, 
or Robert Bruce ; and he has made himself as great in his 
business, as ever those heroes made themselves great in 
theirs. 

In one of his songs, Smith says : 

I always persevered ! 
When I worked at carving meat, 
Standing all day on my feet, 
My only pay, what I could eat, 
I persevered ! 

I always persevered ! 
"When I sold a strop a day, 
Though I knew it didn't pay, 
I kept peddling away, 

I persevered ! 



CHAPTER XIII. 

The first settlement. — Nothing like promptness. — The Astor House. 
— Lesson in strop selling. — Sets up for himself. — First appearance 
in "Wall street. — Shaves the shavers. — The policeman. — Smith 
gets into the papers. — Is mimicked on the stage. 

His strops all sold. Smith returned to his old quarters, the 
eating house, proud to think he had done so well, and that 
he could settle his bills with the old gentleman. On enter- 
ing the eating room, he saw Mr. Hillman seated at one of 
the tables, eating his dinner. He walked up to him and 



38 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

accosted him. The old gentleman did not know him ; he 
had entirely forgotten him. Smith refreshed his memory by 
handing him four dollars. " Ah," said the old fellow, as he 
took the money, "I know you now, and I believe you to be 
an honest man, and I'll let you have as many strops as you 
want, on credit." So much for being honest and prompt in 
small trades. 

Smhh then recounted to his friend the method he had pur- 
sued in getting rid of his strops. " That won't do," broke in 
the old man, "come with me, and I'll show you how to do 
business in a quite different style." So saying, the old man 
gave Smith a dozen strops, and taking a basket with him, in 
which were deposited a dozen or two more, he took his 
young pupil with him, and walked until they reached Broad- 
way. Arrived opposhe the Astor House the old man came 
to a stand, and taking a strop from his basket, began to des- 
cant in a loud voice upon its excellent qualities and extraor- 
dinary cheapness. He soon gathei'ed a ci'owd ai'ound him, 
and having borrowed a rusty knife from one of the bystand- 
ers, began honing it on his strop, and in a few moments had 
given it such an edge as it had not known for years before. 
He next seized a rough looking man by the wrist, and with 
the knife easily shaved the hairs from the back of his brawny 
hand. This feat was, of course, proof positive to the crowd 
that the strops were a superior article, and they soon began 
to vanish from the basket, one after another, until a dozen 
or more were sold. Presently the old man moved along up 
Broadway, until he came opposite another Hotel, when he 
went through the same performance as before, and with the 
same results, so that in a couple of hours he had sold as many 
strops as poor Smith had disposed of in as many weeks. 

Thus tutored. Smith the next day took a full supply of 
strops, and started off alone to sell ' on his own hook," as 
the saying is. At first, he was rather bashful ; it was a new 
business, and he had not sufficient assurance to carry out 
the system his employer had endeavored to teach him. 
However, he learned gradually to overcome his bashfulness, 
and, by dint of indomitable perseverance, he in a week or 
two, managed to get rid of six, eight, and sometimes twelve 
a day, which he thought was doing quite a stifi" business for 
him. Occasionally he took a trip to Brooklyn, for he seemed 



THE KAZOR STROP MAN. 39 

to have a great partiality for that city, on account of the 
kind words spoken to him by the gentleman before alluded to. 

One day he wandered by accident into Wall street, for 
the first time ; just the street for his business, one would 
think, seeing that most of the frequenters of that noted thor- 
oughfare were shavers. And it was just the place for him, 
sure enough, for he succeeded in selling a dozen strops in 
about three hours, which was doing better than he had ever 
done before. This emboldened him to try his luck again 
the next day, on which occasion, in order to make as much 
stir and create as great a sensation as possible, he took with 
him his distilling apparatus, which he had before only used 
at temperance meetings. 

Elevated on the Exchange steps, with a pint of ale distil- 
ling before him, a basket of strops at his feet, and one in his 
hand, behold our friend eloquently addressing, at the top of 
his voice, a promiscuous crowd of gentlemen, merchants, 
brokers and loafers, on the evils of Albany ale, and the vir- 
tues of his superior raziour strop. No wonder that such a 
novel entertainment drew a large crowd around him, so 
large that ere he had got well warmed in his subject, an en- 
vious policeman. gently tapped him on the back, and told 
him to be offer he should be compelled to arrest him. 

In obedience to the " law's command," Smith stepped 
down from his elevated position, and quenched the fire in his 
still, although the alcohol from the beer had just reached 
the burning point, which was the very point upon which he 
intended to have made his most pointed remarks. The 
lookers on were as much disappointed as he, and, as is usual 
in such cases, deeply sympathized with him, so much so, 
that in a few moments they had purchased all his strops. 
In short, our friend made his best day's work that day. 

On the following day, Smith tried Wall street again, but 
not daring to venture on the Exchange steps, he procured 
a chair, and took his position in front of the Plebeian Office. 
Here he attracted the attention of Levi D. Slamm, Esq., the 
editor of the Plebeian, who not only gave him liberty to stand 
opposite his ofTice, but gave him a " first rate notice" in his 
paper, which at that time was one of the most popular jour- 
nals published in the city. 

Smith was now fairly before the public. He had " got 



40 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

into the papers," and people began to talk of him as one of 
the " oddities" of New York. Many other of the city pa- 
pers, ever anxious to notice novelties of every description, 
chronicled the doings of the " Razor Strop Man," and daily 
published his odd jokes and witty sayings to the world. In 
the short space of three months from the day of his first ap- 
pearance in Wall street, so noted had he become, that the 
Sunday Atlas published his portrait, as he appeared selling 
his strops, and Mitchell, of the Olympic Theatre, got up a 
play entitled the " Razor Strop Man," in which Smith him- 
self appeared. This play was performed seven consecutive 
nights, and served to give our friend still greater notoriety. 
In the mean time, his business prospered so well that he fre- 
quently sold eight and ten dozen strops a day, which he cal- 
led doing a " smashing business." The true secret of his 
success was not so much in the excellence of his wares, as 
in the originality of his wit and humor, and the droll com- 
pound of sense and nonsense exhibited in his harangues to 
the people. 

His addresses were a mixture of prose and poetry, em- 
bracing quaint dissertations on history, politics, religion, and 
of every other conceivable subject. In fact, he introduced 
an entire new style of peddling to the public, which threw 
completely into the shade, all the hard won glory of the 
whole tribe of " street merchants" who had gone before 
him. In short, he was by universal consent, proclaimed 
the " king of pedlars." 



CHAPTER XIV. 

Smith sends for his wife. — He goes to Philadelphia. — Great SUC'> 
cess. — Gets in the "Times." — On the highroad to Fortune. — 
Makes a tour of the States. — Concluding remarks. 

Being now well established in a prosperous business, 
Smith sent to England for his wife, who shortly after arrived 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 41 

safely in New York, to the great joy of her fortunate and no 
less affectionate husband. She was well pleased to hear of 
his success in business, but much better pleased on learning 
that he bad sacredl); kept his pledge ; for, M'oman-like, she 
had feared that the temptations of a foreign city, where 
there were no friends to warn or council him, would have 
proved too great for him. But he was still a total abstinence 
man, and was making money faster than she or he had ever 
dreamed of, and she was happy and contented, and felt 
more than repaid for all her former trials and misfortunes. 

In the mean time, the papers still kept quoting Smith's 
sayings, and copying his poetry. At length the Philadel- 
phia journals took up the subject, and invited the " Strop 
Man" to their city, promising him a warm reception if he 
would favor them with a visit. Acting upon these hints, he 
went to the Quaker City in February, 1843, and commenced 
operations in front of the State House. Here his success 
was greater than it had been in New York. Tremendous 
crowds gathered around him, and for weeks, his daily sales 
averaged twenty dozen. The " Times" published his like- 
ness, and all the other papers spoke favorably of him. Du- 
ring the day he would sell strops, and in the evening speak 
at a temperance meeting, whither the people would go in 
crowds, just for the purpose of hearing the famous " Razor 
Strop Man." 

It is customary for certain temperance lecturers to boast 
of the many thousands of names they have secured to the 
pledge. We know not how many Smith has induced to 
sign that great instrument of reform, but if we may judge 
by the immense crowds he has often addressed, and the 
wonderful effect his plain, simple, yet sensible talk has had 
upon the hearts of his auditors, it is but fair to presume that 
few lecturers in the country have done more good than he 
has. His labors have always been gratuitous, and in many, 
very many instances, he has been the first to put his hand 
in his pocket, and help pay the expenses of the meetings at 
■which he had spoken. 

It is unnecessary for us to follow Mr. Smith farther in his 
career. It is sufficient to say that he has visited nearly every 
city and town of note in the Union, and has always met with 
a warm reception, and transacted a good business. He 



42 LIFE jOF HENRY SMITH, 

has travelled in Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, 
Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, Pennsylvania, New 
Jersey, Ohio, Virginia, Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware, Al- 
abama, South Carolina, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, 
Louisiana, Indiana, Mississippi, Missouri and Arkansas. As 
we have said in the introduction, there is nothing very in- 
teresting in his history, although there is much to profit the 
reader, if he will reflect upon what he reads. From being 
a most abandoned and dissolute inebriate, Mr. Smith has 
risen to be a respectable and even a wealthy man ; for he 
has managed during his short career, to save from his earn- 
ings, what is to him a competence, although he is by no 
means yet prepared to retire from business. 

At the present time, (May, 1848,) Mr. Smith is resting 
awhile from his labors, in the city of Philadelphia, which 
place he has made his home for the last year or two. We 
say he is resting from his labors, and we assure our read- 
ers that one who, like Mr. Smith, is continually travelling 
from city to city, by railroad, steamboat, stage coach, and 
every other conceivable mode of conveyance, and who is 
compelled to talk in the open air, in summer and in winter, 
from three to six hours in a day, to say nothing of his fre- 
quent temperance addresses, has need of rest, and that 
frequently. To be sure, travelling is very pleasant when 
undertaken for pleasure, but when it becomes a business, we 
know of nothing so fatiguing or laborious. In a few weeks 
Mr. Smith will resume his travels, and dispense his superior 
strops to those who may wish to secure such an invaluable 
adjunct to the toilet ; for we are happy to know that, not- 
withstanding the immense number he has already sold, there 
are still " a few more left of the same sort.'''' 

In conclusion, we would humbly recommend to all who 
may read this unpretending narrative, the inany advantages 
which are offered both to individuals and to society at large, 
by the adoption of the principles embraced in the Temper- 
ance Reform. While it has proved, a thousand times over, 
that health, wealth and reputation have been repeatedly 
sacrificed upon the altar of intemperance, the instances are 
no less rare where the same blessings have been gained, or 
recovered, by a life of strict temperance. How very un- 
wise, then, to trifle with the intoxicating cup, from which 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 43 

nothing advantageous or permanently pleasurable can bo 
gained, while every thing which contributes to happiness 
and comfort in this life, to say nothing of the world to come, 
is in great danger of being totally and forever destroyed. 

In the history of Mr. Smith, we have a living proof that 
the most confirmed drunkard can be turned from his sensual 
habits, and restored to society, by the simple exercise of that 
powerful agent — his will. Let the inebriate, then, take 
courage, for no matter how low his present condition, there 
is yet hope for him if he is willing to be saved, and will only 
apply the means which God has planted in his. nature. 

Again we would remark, before closing this work, that 
Mr. Smith's career has shown us how much can be gained 
by unceasing, untiring perseverance. With sobriety and 
perseverance, what is there that cannot be accomplished? 
We know of nothing. To be sure, to sell razor strops may 
be accounted by some persons a very small business, but 
among honorable men, any business is honorable that is hon- 
est. An honest pedlar, who pays his debts, and gives his 
customers the worth of their money, is a much better man, 
in every sense, than a knavish merchant, who, though he 
may trade in the costliest fabrics, will cheat his customers at 
every opportunity. We heartily concur in the sentiments 
expressed in one of Mr. Smith's " Razor Strop" ditties, from 
which we make the following extract ; 

The Poet gets praise for writing soft verse, 
And the Statesman for loud speechifying ; 

The Farmer gets praise for tilling the soil, 
And the Merchant for selling and buying. 

The Soldier gets praise for leaving his home, 

To fight for fame and for glory. 
The praise of the Sailor is heard from each lip — 

He 's the hero of many a story. 

The Doctor gets praise for feeling our pulse, 

And putting his cane to his nose, sir ; 
The Lawyer likewise gets his full share of praise, 

But for what— tlie Lord only knows, sir. 

If such men as these get praise from the world, 

Pray tell me, then, why should not I, 
Who enable mankind to shave easy and smooth. 

In less time than you'd twinkle an eye? 



44 ^ LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

But I ask not for praise, — my only desire 
Is man's pleasure on earth to increase ; 

And sell them my strops — I've a few more left, 
And the price is a quarter apiece. 



PHRENOLOGICAL SKETCH OF HENRY SMITH, 

AS GIVEN BY L. N. FOWLER, 

New York, Nov. 20th, 1847- 

He has a large brain, a strong constitution, and a great 
amount of physical strength and endurance. He takes ex- 
tensive and comprehensive views of things, and readily 
sees at a glance what can be done, and the best mode of 
dbing it. Some of the leading features of his character 
are will, perseverance, independence, and self-reli- 
ance. He does not shrink from responsibility, but on the 
contrary rather assumes it, and feels that he is as capable 
of performing a piece of work as any one. He never will 
be driven, or allow any one to trample on his rights or 
dignity ; — has great self-respect, but not much deference 
for others. He shows respect to those only whom he con- 
siders worthy of it — feels more deference for an office than 
for the person who fills it. He feels strong in himself, and 
more disposed to attend to his own business than to rely on 
others — will be master of his own affairs, and give orders 
rather than receive — has quite enough of the disposition to 
command and feel that he ought to be obeyed — is very en- 
ergetic, resolute and forcible. If he determines on ac- 
complishing anything, he is never satisfied until it is com- 
pleted. He never yields to difficulty, but drives right 
through, and secures the desired end, yet is cautious about 
venturing where the case is doubtful ; is not reckless, and 
though he drives business vigorously, always keeps an eye 
on consequences. He has a high sense of duty, justice, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 45 

and moral obligation, and a great deal of sympathy and 
kindness of feeling. His acquisitiveness is large, yet his 
money goes easy ; is " a man of the world ; " likes to re- 
lieve distress, and at the same time have it known when he 
gives. When he does a good deed, is not inclined to " put 
his light under a bushel," but where it may shine. He 
likes to gain notoriety, but wants to do it in his own way, and 
would not be willing to sacrifice his views or opinions for 
the sake of it. He is capable of becoming very angry, 
and does not soon forget an injury or insult, but by the aid 
of firmness, intellect, and sympathy, may have learned to 
control his temper. 

He has great intuitiveness of mind, and arrives at truths 
and results instinctively, without^a course of investigation ; 
is not often mistaken in his character of others ; has strong 
powers of observation, and good ability for collecting facts ; 
is methodical and systematic in his manner of doing busi- 
ness, has excellent powers of analysis and comparison, and 
quickness of discrimination. His jokes arise from a com- 
bination of mirthfulness and comparison, and when combat- 
iveness is excited, can be very sarcastic and pointed. His 
off-hand wit is the best. He has a great deal of natural po- 
etic talent, a very strong imagination, and great love of the 
grand, sublime, and romantic ; is of the enthusiastic order, 
and inclined to be exti'avagant in his expressions, and use 
as strong language as the subject will allow. He has a 
great command of language, and a peculiar faculty for 
story-telling ; he sets them out in their best colors, and 
knows how to adapt them to the time and circumstances. 
He has a good share of sense of the spiritual, and an intui- 
tive perception of the feelings of those around him. Hope 
is not large enough to balance the effect of cautiousness ; 
is disposed to do a sure business and' run no risks. 

He has an accurate mechanical eye, seldom forgets a 
countenance he has once seen ; is capable of making a cor- 
rect accountant ; has a great desire to travel, and will never 
be satisfied with seeing the world, yet has strong love of 
home and friends. He has a good memory of general 
events, and of what he sees and does. His social feelings 
are strong and ardent, which render him capable of enjoy- 
ing, in a high degree, the domestic or matrimonial re- 
lations. 



46 LIFE OF HENKY SMITH, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN'S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF. 

My name is Smith ! In a pretty village, 

A dozen miles or so from London town, 

I first drew breath ; and there I lived, until 

I reached a man's estate, and then I married. 

My father called me Henry, 'stead of John; 

You doubtless all have heard of famed John Smith, — 

Well, I 'm not he, although I should have been, 

Had I been born some seven years sooner. 

My elder brother claimed that honored name. 

By prior right, which says, " first come, first served : " 

And I, being very young when I was born. 

Could not contest the right, and so perforce 

I've ever since been known as Henry Smith. 

Well, having married, as 1 said before, 

I took it in my head, one winter's day. 

That I would visit fair Columbia's shores, 

And make my 'ternal fortune, if I could. 

No sooner said than done; a noble ship. 

And one of Yankee make, Ontario called, 

Bore me swiftly from native country, 

And after buffeting tiie waves for sixty days, 

In safety brought me to the Empire city. 

And dropped me, bag and baggage, on the pier. 

Having washed my face, combed out my hair, 

And ate a hearty breakfast of beef steak, 

Fried tripe, and other New York fixins, 

I looked about me for a way to climb 

The dizzy ladder of capricious fortune, 

So I might honor reap, and lucre, too. 

While cogitating on this matter. 

And revolving in my mind which way to steer 

So as to reach the point I had in view ; — 

Whether 't was best to study politics. 

And strive to shine in legislative halls, 

Or boldly plunge into the mysteries 

Of law and jurisprudence ; or whether 

'J'o turn my collar down, wear curling locks, 

Look lackadaisical and melancholy. 

And so turn poet, and live by rhyming, — 

I say, while I was thinking tliese things o'^r, • 

And making up my mind which road to take, 

I saw a man of middle age and size 

Enter the chop-house, where I was seated, 



tttE RAZOR STROP MAN. 47 

And taking a stool, he quietly sat down, 
And called for mutton chop and tea, for one. 
I eyed him closely, for I saw he had 
A basket in his hand, well filled with wares 
Of a mysterious look, such as ne'er before 
My eyes had looked upon ; 1 quickly rose, 
Prompted by eager curiosity, 
And other feelings undefinable, — 
And in all humility approached the stranger, 
And asked him what he had for sale. 
He heard my question, and bowing low, replied '. 
" Fine razior strops, an' please ye, gentle sir." 
And straightway he began to preach in terms 
Of highest praise of the excellence of his wares- 
How choice their make, how smooth their finish ; 
How workmanlike their style and fashion, 
And how wonderfully quick they'd give an edge 
To dullest scissors, knives, or I'azors; 
And, last of all, he dwelt most eloquently 
On the smallness of the price he sold them at. 
I heard him tlirough, most patiently, and then 
Took up a strop and scrutinized it well ; 
And while I gazed upon its finished sides, 
And turned it o'er and o'er within my hand, 
I thought 't would be a wondrous proper thing 
For me to trade in; 't was so much like the Avorld, 
That all the world, I thought, must like it: 
Like some men, 't was many sided ; now smooth, 
When smoothness was required ; and rough, anon, 
When roughness was in fashion; this side white, 
And black the other; a third, nor white nor black, 
But something happily between them both. 
I' faith, thought I, he 'd be a marvellous man, 
That can't be suited one way or t' other; 
With black or white, with rough or smooth, — 
With hard or soft, with each, or all, or neither. 
Such thoughts as these, joined to the stranger's eloquence, 
O'crcame the objections which false pride suggested, 
And I resoived within my inmost soul, that I 
Would kick my scruples to the dogs, give up all hopes 
Of climbing fortune's hill by ordinary means, 
And cut a new and dainty path to fame, 
Such as no mortal ever trod before ; 
And so, by dint of stubborn perseverance, 
And a resolution never to he beat, 
Go on, from conquering to conquer, 
Uotil my name should be a household word, 



48 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

And all the world should know me well, 

And hail me king of all the pedlar tribe ! 

Acting on these thoughts, 1 bought some strops, 

And then went out and sold them, — -again I bought, — 

Again went out and sold ; and every day 

I did increase my sales, and add fresh fatness 

To my once consumptive calf-skin wallet, 

Until at length my name and fame had reached 

From York to Georgia, from Oregon 

To 'way down east, from whence thick fogs, pine boards, 

Squash pies, and other Yankee notions emigrate. 

Statesmen, lawyers, doctors and divines; 

Merchants, farmers and gentlemen of wealth ; 

The old, the young, the homely and the fair, — 

All sorts of people, of every grade and station, 

Ran at my heels, and begged, for mercy's sake, 

I would, in pure compassion, sell them strops. 

I could not their importunities resist. 

And tlierefore quarters did I give to those 

Poor suppliants, who quarters gave to me. 

'Tis now six years or more since I commenced 

The good old way which now I walk in ; 

Thousands upon thousands of my strops I 've sold, 

And still the people loudly cry for more. 

And now, good friends, on whom dame Fortune smiles, 

Since I am here among you, with a few more left 

Of those same strops I 've told ye of to-day, 

It would be well for you to purchase now, 

And thus secure your future happiness. 

Shell out your quarters, ere it be too late. 

And all my strops are sold, and none are left 

Of this same sort, to whet your razors on withal. 

Don't stop to tliink — all foolish scruples drop, — 

Hand out your quarter, and take home your strop. 



tms RAzo^ sTRCP wxsa^ 



THE STROP MAN'S TRIAL, 

In tlie summer of 1844, Mr. Smith visited Indianapolis^ 
Ind.T and \vhil« pursuing his business in one of the public 
•streets, was ari'ested by an officious police officer for & 
'breach ©f the laws. A. correspondent of a New Orleans pa- 
jper gives the following account of the trial : 

On being introduced to his " honorable wo-rship," the 
Mayor, Smith was asked if he was ready for trial. He re- 
plied that he should like to be tried by a jury. Having givcB 
bail in tl)e sum of twenty -iive dollars, he was -allowed to de* 
ipart and be at liberty until t-lie afternooii. 

At 2 o'clock, the jury being sworn, tl>e Mayor asked him 
if he was ready for trial. Smith said be objected to three of 
5the sage men in the box, as they were not seized of one of 
^his strops, and in that case, he was afraid they would think 
^e sold a bad strop. The trial proceeded, and the strop man 
^stood before the ju-ry, with his basket of wares upon his arm, 
'eyeing the Court with a quizzical leer from the outer can- 
thus of his left eye. It was a grotesque scene, and truly 
rich, to the lover o£ fmi. When the jury were about to re- 
tire. Smith asked permission to address them a few words, 
Ois request being granted, he thus proceeded : 

Gentlemen of the Jury! — I am the Razor Strop Man, 
wot sells a strop that will put an edge on a dull razor, keen 
.-as the law : L-a-w, law, riiere jaw, which makes war, be- 
tween me and the constable. Well ! I arrived in this mag> 
jianimous and enlightened city, last night, where they put 
honest strangers in the care of this same constable, lest 
greater evils should befall them, and so peradventure they be 
dragged before hisexcellency in the big chair, by the valor- 
•ous'^constable aforesaid. This explains to your wisdoms 
how I happen to be here talking to your honors about law, 
instead of selling my excellent, superior, highly finished ra- 
zor strops, of which I have a few more left, same sort as I 
:sold to your worships. 

Well, gentlemen, I put up at the Palmer House, took a 
late supper of cold beef, and before going to bed, learned 
that the next morning was market. So I got up at day^ 
3 



50 LIFE o? HEnrmr smnUj 

break, and went to market, to let the people know that there 
were good strops in town, of which 1 had a few left, same 
sort, as I observed before. 1 have sold my strops in Albany 
and Madison in this State, and the officers there told me 
I did not need any license in this State, for the sale of home 
manufactures ; and so your honors' reverences, I thought I 
was doing no harm in selling my excellent strops — of which 
by the way, I 've a few more left, same sort — in this great 
and magnificent city. 

Now, gentlemen of the jury, it is my eandid opinion that 
the officer who arrested me might have treated me as po- 
litely as they treat the pigs and geese, when they get on the 
railroad track. The engine man always whistles when he 
sees them on the track, and so gives them a chance to cut 
stick. Now,if the officer had said : '■'■Stranger, you must 
get a license to sell your strops, or else I shall take you up," 
and then I had continued to sell, he would have done right 
to have arrested me, and I should have no cause to grumble, 
" And now, Mr. Constable," said Smith, addressing that wor- 
thy functionary, " what made you so very particular in 
taking me up .?" 

Officer. — I am a sworn officer ; sworn to do my duty, and 
I saw you breaking the law, and that is the reason why { 
took you up. 

Smith. — Did you ever see any other person break the 
law ? 

Officer. — Occasionally. 

Smith. — Did you arrest them ? 

Officer. — Not always. 

S7nith. — So, so, old chap ! Did you not just say that you 
took me up because you are a sworn officer ; and then in 
the next breath declare that you had known other persons 
to break the law, whom you did not arrest .'' 

Officer. — Yes, but they were citizens. 

Smith. — And I was a stranger, and you took vie in. 

Officer. — I took you up, and I would take up any stranger 
who would come here and break the law. 

Smith. — Yes, and why ? because you do not expect to get 
a vote out of him. Now, old chap, you should have whis- 
tled and given me warning. 

Officer. — Then if I see a man stealing a horse, 1 must 
whistle and give him a chance to run away, must I ? 



THE RAZOll STROr MAN. 51 

Stnith. — But suppose you were to see two men stealing, 
would you whistle to one, and nab the other ? 

Officer. — Well, but you had a crowd, and that is wrong. 

Smith. — Did you never see a crowd before I came to the 
city ? Do not politicians get up crowds ? 

Officer. — But they have nothing to sell. 

Smith. — So much the worse for the crowd, then. For 
my part, I can see no diflerence. Politicians get up a 
crowd, and tell about the good qualities of men. I get up a 
crowd, and tell about the good qualities of my strops — a 
strop, gentlemen of the jury, which, though I say it who 
should not say it, is not to be beat in this country. It is good, 
cheap, handsome, durable and fashionable, and gentlemen 
of the jury, although I have sold as many thousand of them as 
there are hairs on your honors' heads, yet I am proud to say, 
that there are still a few more left, same sort, as I have be- 
fore hinted at. Gentlemen, I have done. 

The jury retired, and after two hours' absence returned, 
unable to agree. Again they retired, and in about one hour 
came in with a verdict of guilty against Henry Smith, for 
selling strops without a license, but recommended him to 
mercy. The Mayor said he could not let him off, but the 
City Council could. So Smith paid the fine of six dollars, 
and returning his still well filled wallet to his pocket, cried 
out in a nasal voice, — a few more left., same sort. The best 
of all was, that the very men who found him guilty, bought 
strops before they left the office, the Mayor among the 
crowd. His Honor said that it was unconstitutional to 
charge for selling domestic manufactures, and told Smith 
he would get his six dollars back and send them to him. 

X. Y. Z. 



A HUMAN VEHICLE. 

When Smith was in Tennessee, a constable informed 
him that it was contrary to law to sell strops in the street. 
Smith denied there being any such law, and the two adjourn- 
ed to a lawyer's office, to have the point settled by actual 



SS LlPE 05- MENRV SMITH, 

reference to the printed statutes. On examination, it ap» 
peared that the law only forbid persons from peddling goods 
in " a carryall or other vehicle." " There," cried Smith, 
" I knew I was right. I use no vehicle, but sell strops from 
my basket, as I 've a right to do." 

" Not so," replied the constable, who Was rather contrary, 
and did not like to acknowledge beat, " not so ; in the eye 
of the law, your basket is a vehicle." 

" Well then," said Smith, " if that 's the case, I '11 drop the 
basket and take the strops in my hand." 

"Then sir," replied the obdurate man of law, "I shall 
be obliged to consider you as a vehicle." 

" You will, will you .'"exclaimed Strop, a little nettled at 
the fellow's obstinacy, " then if I 'm a vehicle, I want some 
old jackass or other to drmv me to court, and as you are the 
most stubborn beast I 've seen for many a day, I 'II just put 
you in my shafts,'''' saying which, he threw his arms about 
the constable, and pressed him so tightly that the worthy 
functionary was obliged to acknowledge that the shafts 
chafed him so much that he could n't draw worth a cent, and 
the vehicle was left to pursue its business unmolested. 



THE CONGAREE MAIDEN^ 

BY HENRY SMITH. 

1 KNEW a young and lovely maiden, lovlier far than the 
first rose of summer, or the bright star of evening. Her 
rosy cheek was never wet with the tear of anguish, nor her 
snowy breast ever moved with the sigh of sorrow. Her pa- 
rents doated on her with a wild, delusive hope, believing 
that she was to be their stay and comfort in their old age, 
and that her soft taper fingers would close their aged eyes 
in death. 

This fair maiden loved — yes, she loved, and a reciprocal 
affection blessed her young untried heart, and ere eighteen 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 53 

summers had scattered their sweet flowers on her young 
brow, she was led to the altar by one of the manliest of the 
human race. I saw them in their glad home, on the banks 
of the sweet Congaree, and bright and cheering were the 
prospects around them. The little birds which warbled 
around their dwelling sung only the songs of their love, and 
their days passed as happily as did those of the first pair in 
Eden, before the triumph of the foe of man. 

But soon a dream of sorrow darkened the door of their 
happy mansion. The husband awoke each morning to be 
tortured by the horrors of his toilet. There he stood, with 
tremulous hands, and the streams of blood flowed down his 
lacerated cheeks and neck, until he writhed in agony, and 
gnashed his teeth in the wildest delirium of rage. Each 
day, he felt that life was insupportable, — each day brought 
him nearer a drunkard's grave ; for his troubles had driven 
him to bask in the accursed warmth of the fii'e of intemper- 
ance, and he bathed his troubled soul in its delusive gieams. 

The poor unhappy wife pined and grieved. She had 
nothing upon which to lean for comfort. Her idol — her 
husband, was wretched and miserable, and how could she 
be happy ? She mourned as one having no comfort. 

One fine summer day, I chanced to pass their house, now 
the house of trouble and anguish. Alas ! how changed. 
The walks were no longer smooth ; the gate swung upon 
one hinge ; the garden looked neglected, and the broken 
fences of the farm all showed plainly and truly that it was a 
drunkard's home. I entered that house, now so wretched 
and forlorn. I sold that unhappy man one of my razor 
strops, for fifty trifling cents. The next day — oh, joyful 
tale to tell — he shaved, and how easily none can tell but 
those who have honed their dull razors on my strops. He 
was now happy — he quit the bottle — became sober — mended 
his fences — weeded his garden — fixed his gate — kissed his 
y/[fe — blessed the Razor Strop Man, and once more became 
a gentleman. His fair wife now calls down the choicest 
of Eleaven's blessings upon my head, and says her pres- 
ent,happiness is all owing to my excellent strops, of which 
there are " a ^e\v more left of the same sort." 



54 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 



KAZOR STROP vs. LAW. 

When Smith was in Washington, a gentleman who 
boarded at the Hotel where he was stopping, inquired of 
him why he pursued such a sinall business as vending ra- 
zor strops ? " Possessed as you are," said the gentleman, 
" with good natural abilities, why don't you undertake the 
study of law ? You would make an excellent lawyer." 

" Why, my dear friend," replied Smith, " if I were to at- 
tempt the study of the law for the purpose of acquiring a 
knowledge of, and practicing the profession, it would be to 
?nake money. This would be the great inducement. Now, 
you see, I would be a number of years in the study, and 
when I got through, what would be my business, even if I 
chanced to make what the world calls ^ good lawyer? 
Why, it would be to defend rogues — for the best lawyers 
are always called upon to manage the most difficult cases. 
Yes, sir, it would be my business to contrive ways and means 
and concoct schemes to get scoundrelsclear of the just pun- 
ishment their crimes deserved. Think you, sir, I would 
have a peaceful conscience in a work like this? No, sir, 
conscience would smite me, and I should feel condemned. 
But now, thank fortune, I am engaged in a work in which I 
make money, and benefit humanity besides. In selling my 
strops, I feel that I am a public benefactor, and prevent 
crime ; for no man was ever known to steal, rob or murder, 
whose face was clean shaved. No, sir, you may follow the 
law while I sell strops, of which I happen just now to have a 
few more left of the same sort." 



A TOAST. 



At a public dinner given by the Sons of Temperance at 
Charlottesville, Va., on Washington's birth day, the Razor 
Strop Man gave the following toast: " The 22d of Febru- 
ary, the best day in the year, the birth day of Washington ; 
a man so truly great, that our only regret is, that there are 
not a few more left of Lhe same sort,'''' 



"IHE RAZOK STKOl? MAN.. 55 



PfflLOSOPHY OF RA^OR STROPS. 

Who ""s the next customer for a strop ? Not a very 
liandsome strop, to be scire, but a good strop. Beaaty, after 
all, is but skin deep. A man may be ill looking and yet 
be a good man ; you cannot tell a man's character by sim- 
ply looking at him ; you must get acquainted with hira be- 
fore you can tell what sort of a man he is:; and when yoa 
are Veil acquainted with him, and find him to be a first rate 
good man, you do n't mind so much about his looking rouglo. 
The same with ray strop. It is a rough looking strop, but 
just get acquainted with it^ and then you will not mind the 
4ooks of it- 
How can you get acquainted with it ? Why, only let 
soae get acquainted with a piece of silver that you are ac- 
quainted with, and then I '11 introduce you to one of my 
strops, and when you get acquainted with it, you won't like 
io lose its acquaintance. 

A gentleman told me be used to shave every day "before 
he bought my strop, " but," said he, " since I have shaved 
with a razor that I sharpened on your strop, I only shave 
twice a week, I was never shaved so close in my life as 1 
was when I bought your strop." 

Anotlier gentleman told me that he had a very bad corn, 
which he rubbed with my strop until it was completely worn 
away, and he has never been troubled with corns since. 

Another man said it made his razor so sharp that it cut 
3ts way out of the box ; and a boy who sent one of my 
strops to his uncle, received in return a present worth five 
dollars. 

A countryman visited Mobile when I was there, and 
bought a dozen of my strops, which he packed away in a 
barrel of rice, which he had also purchased. On his return 
home, he had a pudding made of the rice, and his boys be- 
came so sharp by eating of it, that they cut every one of 
their eye teeth that very afternoon. Nay, more than this ; 
the knives used in cutting the pudding had such edges put 
on to them, that the old man sold them the next day to the 
village barber for Damascus rajzors^ Thinking that the vir- 



56' BrrE of henry smrriY, 

tue lay in the rice, he sent back to Mobile and bought tea 
barrels more ; but it was no go ; without the strops, the rice 
was no better than common. And now gentlemem : 

If you have a razor that cuts like a saw, 
That scratches and tears your cheek and jaw„ 
And leaves your face all bleeding and raw^ 

Just OB that hone strap it. 

Then on tliis side lap it, 

And on your chin clap it — 
'T will shave you as clean as the laAv, 
And from your eyes tears of gratitude dr8;w.-. ^ 



TEMPERANCE SPEECH, 

DELIVEKEZ) BY HENRT SMITH, 
At "Washingtoaian Hall, Boston, Nov. 7, 18-17. 

Some folks say that it is right to drink alcohol, because it 
is a good creature of God. Well, grant that it is ; so is cas- 
tor oil a good creature of God ; bat is that a sufficient rea- 
son for a person to drink it, three, four, or a dozen times a 
day .'' A dog is a good creature of God ; but suppose a 
dog gets mad, and should rush into this hall and bite a man 
or a woman, would you let him alone because he was a 
good creature ? Would you be satisfied with cutting off 
iiis ear, or his tail, or would you knock him on the head 
and pitch him headlong into the street ? Now alcohol is 
worse than a mad dog ; for a bite from the latter only de- 
stroys life, while a bite from the former destroys reason, 
leputation, life, and everthing else, besides dragging the 
family ©f the bitten man down to poverty and want. 

Btit alc-ohol does n't bite a mouthful at first. When he 
iirst snapped at me, he only tickled me a little ; I liked it 
first rate, and was anxious to get another and still another 
bite. The old ty/ant kept a nibbling away at my heels as 
though he did a't meaii to harm sne, while I^ like a poox 



THE RA20R STRO? MAN. S7 

fool, kept coaxing him on until at last he gave a " snap," 
and took the elbows right out" of my coat ; next, he took 
the crown out of my hat, the shoes off my feet, the money 
out of my pocket, and the sense out of my head, until at 
last I went raving mad through the streets, a perfect victim 
to alcophobia. But I signed the pledge and got cured ; and 
if there is any man in this hall, who has been bitten as I 
was, let him come forwai'd and take our teetotal medicine, 
and 1 '11 warrant him a speedy cure. 

But, allowing that alcohol is a good creature of God ; 
are there not othei' good creatures, too, such as beef, pork^ 
puddings, pies, clothes, dollars, and fifty others of the same 
sort ? Now, shall a man cling to the one good cfeattire^ 
and leave the ninety-and-nitie untouched ? Shall a man 
drink rum because it is a good creature of God's, and go 
without good food, a good home, a good hat, a good coat, a 
good fat Wallet, a good handsome wife, and good, well 
dressed little children ? No, siV-ee ! Give me good beef 
and pudding, good friends, a good bed, a good suit of 
clothes, a good wife, good children, (I ain't got any yet, 
but then there 's a good time coming, boys,) and old King 
Alcohol may go to Texas, for all I care. 

Some say that wine is a " good creature," because our 
Savior once turned water into wine. Very good ; but he 
did n't turn new rum, logwood, coculus indicus and cock- 
roaches into wine, like some of your Boston wholesalers 
do. He turned water into wine. Now, if any wine-bibbing 
apologist will take a gallon of pure water, and by praying 
over it, or in any other way, will turn it into good wine, 
without mixing any other stuff with it, 1 'm the boy as will 
go in for a swig of it. Such wine must be good, and I go 
in for that kind, and for " nothing else." But as for your 
nasty, filthy, drunken stuff, which is sold in your Boston 
grog-shops, it 's a base counterfeit, and it 's a blasphemous 
libel upon our blessed Savior to liken it to the pure bev- 
erage he made. 

Now, you that prefer one good creature of God to all 
the rest, go and drink rum until you get picked as bare as 
a sheep's back, after it has crawled through a bramble 
bush ; but you that prefer the ninety-and-nine good crea- 
tures, come up here and sign the pledge. Thousands have 
3* 



58 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

been saved by putting theii- names to this precious docu- 
ment, and still there is room for a " few more, of the same 
sort." 



SECRET SOCIETIES. 

Smith was once speaking in favor of the Odd Fellows 
and Sons of Temperance, of which Orders he is a mem- 
ber, and cited several cases in proof of the benevolence of 
these two admirable institutions. 

" It's all fudge," exclaimed one of his hearers, who hap- 
pened to be a little groggy ; " it 's all fudge ; these societies 
take CEfi'e of their own members, to be sure ; but all the 
rest of the world may starve, for all they care. There 's 
no chai'ity in helping their own members, and letting the 
' outsiders ' go to the dogs." 

" Veiy true," observed Smith ; " you belong to the ' out- 
siders,' don't you ? " 

" Yes, sir-ee, I do." 

" Well, then, if you and your brethren will only take 
care of the sick and poor among the ' outsiders,' we will 
protect the same class among the ' insiders,' and so between 
the two parties, nobody will be allowed to suffer from want 
or lack of proper attention." 



RETORT COURTEOUS. 

A FEW days ago, a fellow, about three sheets in the 
wind, after bothering the "Razor Strop Man" for some 
time, concluded with asking him his name, where he 
came from, and if he knew where he was. Smith, with a 
good humored smile, replied : " My name is Smith ; I came 
from home, and I am very near a fool.'''' — Baltimore Vis- 
itor. 




The Razor Strop Man in a crowd. 



MFE ©F HfiNRY SUnS^ 



A RAZOR STROP SPEECH. 

The following rich medley, with the accompfsnying rig^ 
Wiarks, was originally published in the Philadelphia Sun,, 
soon after Smith's first appearance in that city : 

'* The Razor Strop Man is a decided genius, who, by the 
Jiatural force of eloquence, and eonsidf^rable perseverance^ 
has established himself in business in front of the State 
House, on Chestnut street, where he collects a crowd of de- 
lighted spectators about him every nwrning,^ to whom h& 
manages to sell just a bushel basket full of his celebrated 
and inimitable strops. He is also an artist, and sings in a 
fine vasal voice, the following medley to a most nausieal and 
inellifluous ait. 

Spoken. — I say, gentlemen ! do you want tc buy a good, 
©heap, durable, handsome razor strop ? If you do, I \& 
just a few more left which are at your service ; and yow 
must speak quick or you '11 be too late. But perhaps you'd 
like to hear the history of the strop before you buy it* 

Then listen', and I will begin it : 

'T is a curious case, and within it 

Is a strop I will show in a minute, 
And thus to your view I draw— ' 
D-R-A-W— draw- 
As good as ever you saw. 

T is only two shillings to pay, sir! 

I'm sure you cannot say nay, sir I 

'T will sharpen a knife or a razor, 
And warranted free from a flaw. 

Spoken. — Yes, gentlemen I as good as any other str&pv 
and warranted not to cut in the eye, nose or .chin. But it 
will make a dull razor so sharp that the stiffest and mo&l 
obstinate beard dare nor say its soul 's its own. 

Yoif see that the strop is four sidedV 
With a hole for the paste all provided ; 
If you only felt willing- as I did, 

We 'd trade without any more jaw ;— 



fttE KAZOR STfiOP UAft. <3l 

J-A-W — jaw- 
Do n't alter its value a straw^ 

Come all, whether sorry or funny, 

Come buy, be it stormy or sunny. 

If you want the full worth of your money, 
A strop good as ever you saw. 

Spoken. — There is no mistake about this strop, gentle- 
men ; it speaks for itself. If razors, and knives, and scis- 
sors had tongues, gentlemen, and would speak out the hon- 
est sentiments of their hearts, they would cry out as with 
one voice : — There is no strop like Smithes strop for putting 
a keen edge to a dull knife or razor. 1 speak the truth, 
gentlemen, and if you don't believe me, buy a strop and 
judge for yourselves. 

So who 's the next customer ? You, sir. 

Have tried it and know what 't will do, sir, 

Just hand me a knife ! — some old bruiser, 
* And the edge on the lamp-post draw ; 

D-R-A-W— draw- 
Till 't is ragged and rough as a saw ; 

Now this way and that way, and then, sir, 

We 'ft turn i^and strop it again, sir, 

Till it sljaves you, %nd all other men, sir. 
As keen as the edge of the law. 

Spoken. — Why, gentlemen, all that a man needs in thi» 
world to make him perfectly happy, is a good wife, a clear 
conscience, and one of my strops. But in order to pro- 
cure the first two he must purchase the last ; for bow can 
a man with a long beard get a good wife, or preserve his 
temper with a dull razor ? 

Oh ! life 's but a vanishing bubble, 

And we spend too much labor and trouble. 

To scrape from our faces the stubble. 

While the tears from our eyes we draw ; — • 

D-R-A-W— draw, 

And our chins all bleeding and raw ; 
T is only a trifle to pay, sir, 
*T will sharpen a knife or a razor. 
And last all your life and a day, sir, 

And warranted free from a flaw. 



62 LIFE OP HENRY SMITH, 

Spoken. — In one week, gentlemen, I sold 1604 strops, 
and made 1604 human beings superlatively happy. But I 
claim no merit myself, gentlemen. I am but the humble 
instrument chosen to deal out these blessings to mankind, 
and as there are but a few more left, you must buy now, or 
you 'U be too late. 

I 'm a stranger among you all here, 

And have none to witness the true 
Or the false, which I come to declare, 

Of the strops I present to your view. 
And yet do I fearlessly say, 

If you but a purchase will try, 
1 'm sure as that night is not day. 

You '11 never repent what you buy. 

Spoken. — The man that buys my strop, puts out his 
money at interest, which is returned to him fourfold every 
time he shaves. To be sure, my strop, although a very 
good looking strop, is not quite so showy as some strop^n 
the market ; but, gentlemen — 

It is not such gewgaws as these 

That look very well to the eye — 
It is not mere fashion to pleasje, , • 

That economy chooses to b"iiy. 

You would not, I 'm free to repeat. 

Your money for trickery sink ; 
A dollar to you is as sweet 

As a gingerbread toy, I should think. 

But here is the strop ! could it speak, 

'T would tell you it fears not a trial ; 
Just use it a year or a week. 

And 't will fearlessly dare a denial. 

Spoken. — Now, gentlemen, walk up and buy my strops, 
for now is your last chance, and there are but a few more 
left of the same sort. If you buy my strops, gentlemen, 
and get sick of your bargains, I '11 give you back your 
money. Yes, gentlemen — 

That offer I now make to you, 

If ever, at any time hence. 
You find that my strops are not true, 

I '11 give you back fifty good cents. 




THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 63 



LEARNING AND RAZOR STROPS. 

Smith was once in Oxford, and the collegians, full of fun 
and frolic, were making all sorts of dry and witty remarks 
upon his poetry. At length one of them insisted upon 
mounting the stump, and trying his hand at strop selling, 
to which Smith willingly assented. The young tyro, after 
many fruitless attempts to get off extempore poetry, " strop 
fashion," was obliged at length to quit the stump, which 
was resumed by Smith, who immediately delivered him- 
self as follows : 

To speak Greek and Latin, we know- 
Are acquirements not rare in these regions. 

For I see all around me, just now, 
A host of young learned collegians. 

To be wise I believe 's no disgrace, 
^ And with scholars I feel not like meddling ; 

But yet there 's not one in this place 
Can excel me at Razor Strop peddling. 

There 's Webster, and Calhoun, and Clay, 
We very well lyiow they are great men ; 

If you hunt the worlf through you 'II not find 
Three wiser or worthier statesmen. 

They 've climbed up the high hill of fame, 
Till their feet are well fixed on the top, sirs , 

But with all their great knowledge and power, 
They cannot beat me selling strops, sirs. 



A DRUNKEN RAKE. 

While Smith was selling his strops in a Southern city, 
a drunken fellow told him he had better be off with him- 
self, and go to work hoeing corn. " A good idea," observed 
._ Smith, " and as you are pretty well carried now, sup- 
ipose I go to work and hoe you V " You ca n't do it, old 
Straps," hiccupped the loafer, " I am too much of a hoe for 
vou, any day." " If my eyes are good judges," replied 
kSimith good humoredly, " you are more of a rake thun a 
/toe." The crowd laughed, and the ra^e was compelled to 
scratch gravel. 



LIFE OF «ENRY SMITKj 



CORRESPONDENCE OF THE RAZOR STROP 

MAN. 

[From the New England Wasliingtonian.] 

Bro. Coles : — The last letter I wrote you was dated 
from Charleston, S. C. Before I went to that city, I was 
told that I could not get a license to sell my strops there, 
ivithout paying 8500 for it, and giving $5000 bail. This 
was too hard a story to believe, all at once, and so I re- 
solved to believe only five dollars' worth at a time — and 
when I arrived in Charleston I found that even that sum 
Was an extra large dose. I called upon the mayor, and 
after making him acquainted with my business, was in- 
formed that I could sell as many strops as I pleased by 
paying one dollar, and no bail required. So I comme^ed 
business on the spot, and sold my first strop to the mayor, 
himself, who, by the way, is a first rate man, and knows 
when he makes a good bargain. I am a benefactor to the 
human family, Bro. Coles, and when I can sell one of my 
strops to a ruler or magistrate, T feel confident that I am 
conferring a great benefit upon the people ; for how can a 
man who shaves with a razor made keen and sharp on an 
excellent strop — how can he, I say, help being a just mag- 
istrate and a good man ? 

From Charleston I went to Columbia, and was well 
treated by the people, especially so by the students of the 
colleges, who bought lots of my strops, for the purpose of 
sharpening their wits so that they can learn their lessons 
well. In travelling from Columbia to Augusta, I suffered 
much from the cold, as the keepers at the stopping places 
are very negligent in keeping good fires for the benefit of 
the passengers' toes and fingers, though they were by no 
means slack in providing fire water for heating the stomach 
of the thirsty travellers. At one stopping place I tried at 
three doors to gain admittance in search of fire, but they 
Were all bolted, and I was obliged to content myself with 
striking my heels together, polka fashion, and dancing a 
Spanish fandango, in the bar-room, while most of the other 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 65 

passengers addressed themselves to the whisky bottle for 
comfort and consolation : 

Whenever you are cold, and chilly, and quaking-, 
Your limbs all quiverintj, shivering, shaking, 
And old Jack Frost with his icy fingers 
On the end .of your noses, toeses, lingers, 
Oh, then of the whisky bottle beware. 
For there is no warmth or comfort there ; 
But grab a good cold water jug. 
And swallow the beverage, cluggerty dug ; 
Then clap your hands, and spin on your heel, 
And dance a fandango, or I-rish reel, 
And thus you '11 put Jack Frost to flight, 
With a flea in his ear, — and serve him right. 

It is a mean business for rumsellers to half freeze the 
poor travellers in order to make them buy their poison, . 
nasty whisky. 

When I reached Augusta, I called upon some of the first 
men in the place, to whom I had letters of introduction 
from some Charleston friends. I felt proud of my ac- 
quaintance, I assure you, and with good reason. What 
sort of letters of recommendation should I have got, when 
I used to drink grog? Why, I should have had one from 
the constable, saying that I had been in his clutches the 
night before ; and one from the rumseller, stating that 1 
spent most of my time in his old groggery ; and any quan- 
tity from my neighbors, testifying that I got home late at 
night, and was always kicking up a row, a rumpus, and a 
riot, bawling out sweet home, with my heels in the gutter 
and my head on the sidewalk, and the town hogs trying to 
shove me out of bed. Yes, and my old cat, she would have 
given me a letter of recommendation to the effect that I 
half-starved her, and kept her on mice of the Calvin Edson 
breed, so as to compel her to prowl round, and steal the 
neighbors' fish, and so forth. But now you see the tide has 
turned, and Henry Smith, Esq., the celebrated Razor Strop 
Man, is introduced to statesmen, dines with merchants, 
shakes hands with learned divines, talks familiarly with 
^ets, ei-acks jokes with editors, and sells strops to everybody, 
at twenty-five cents apiece, and always has a few more 
left of the same sort. 



66 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

The man that drinks grog 

Had better beware ; 
He '11 live like a dog, 

And die in despair. 

He may drink and quaff 

From the sparkling cup, 
He may sing and laugh — 

But 't will swallow him up. 

He 'd better, much better 

Leave off, and sign. 
And break the fetters 

Of brandy and wine. 

Oh, give me cold water 

When I am atliirst; 
'T is the best of drinks, 

As well as the first. 

It flows in the valley, 

And mountain cleft, — 
Though running for ages, 

There's a few more left- 
Then hurrah for cold water 

In weal or in woe ; 
No other drink 's like it 

Above or below. 

My paper's used up, and so is my time; you'll therefore 
excuse me for ending in rhyme. I'll write you again, as 
soon as I can, until then I 'm yours, 

The Razor Stkop Man. 

Philadelphia^ May I8th, 1847. 



[From the New England Washingtonian.] 

Brother Coles : — My last letter left me at Augusta, 
Ga. I believe I told you that I was well received in thr^ 
city, and did a good business with my strops. After 
leaving Augusta, I visited Athens, about 120 miles distant, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 67 

by railroad. There is a railroad from Augusta to Atlanta, 
from there to Macon, from there to Savannah, and from 
there to the Cherokee County. The aggregate of these 
roads is over 500 miles. The cars are very good, fur- 
nished with private saloons, and the conductors are gentle- 
men, and first rate good fellows. Georgia is destined to be 
a great State, yet. Her cotton factories and gold mines, 
which are now paying from 25 to 30 per cent, profit, will 
increase her wealth and influence. I happened to be in 
the town of Sparta during Court time, and did a first rate 
business. The taverns were all crowded with strangers, 
and I contributed to their happiness as much as I could by 
selling them first rate razor strops, of which, very fortu- 
nately, I had a few more left. It is a curious fact, but never- 
theless true as the book of Mormon, that every lawyer 
that bought one of my strops, gained his case. Now I 
don't say that my strops are good for anything except to 
sharpen dull razors on, but if modesty did n't seal my lips, I 
could a tale unfold in regard to their extraordinary quali- 
ties, that would take a grease spot right out of a Turkey 
carpet. But I refrain, and leave it to posterity to blow my 
trumpet. 

When I was at a town called Social Circle, I was stand- 
ing close to the railroad depot, when the train came in, and 
a man jumped out of the cars, with no hat or shoes on, but 
so drunk that he could hardly stand. He had plenty of 
money, however, and paid a man who was standing by the 
depot, fifty dollars, which he owed him. He said he had 
been to see his old mother, and she had given him plenty 
of money, which he was going to spend in riding and 
drinking ; and he kept his word. About two weeks after 
this, I was in Madison, and while there, visited the prison 
by invitation of the keeper. There were but two persons 
in the prison, one confined for a debt which he was able 
but not willing to pay, and the other was the young man 
whom I had seen in Social Circle, and who was going to 
spend his mothex''s money in riding and drinking. On in- 
quiry, I found that he was imprisoned on suspicion of hav- 
ing robbed a rumseller of some money, and as he was 
found drunk, with plenty of money in his pocket, he was 
of course an object of strong suspicion. I had a long talk 



68 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

with him, and, on leaving, gave him some copies of the N. 
E. Washingtonian, and the New York Organ, which I had 
with mc. He had a wife and two children, and is a smart, 
active young man when sober. He sent me word the next 
day, that he was convinced that drinking rum was the 
heighth of fooHshness, and promised to sign the pledge 
when he got out of prison. I afterwards learned that he 
was discharged, as nothing could be proved against him. It 
was his bad habits which made him an object of suspicion. 

The man that drinks brandy, wine, whisky and beer, 

Talks loudly of freedom and right ; 
But loafs through the town like a beggar, all day, 

And sleeps in the watch-house at night. 

His freedom consists in a lollilopped hat, 

And boots both out at the toes, 
With carbuncled nose and beef colored cheeks, 

And a shocking bad suit of old clothes. 

His hair is uncombed, and his face is unwashed. 

And empty his pockets of cash ; 
His heart is all cankered, his brain all inflamed, 

And his temper both sullen and rash. 

Such is a man that drinks, and there is no denying it. I 
thank God, that I am a sober man, and know the value of 
true liberty and freedom. While speaking of freedom, I will 
just inform you that 1 am now a citizen of the United States ; I 
got my papers last week, and I think a great deal of them, 
I assure you. Yes, szV, I am now a citizen of this great 
and happy country, and I already feel a strong disposition 
to whittle and swop. I shall one of these days write a his- 
tory of my travels, and I intend to beat Charles Dickens all 
hollow ; and I ought to, for what does he know of the coun- 
try, when he was only four months here, and his eyes half 
closed with brandy smashers, at that .'' whereas, I have been 
here six years, with both eyes open tight all the time, and 
doing the briskest kind of a trade with my strops, into the 
bargain. Talking about my strops, why, the other day, I 
sold one to a drunken man, and threw in a good lecture on 
temperance for nothing, and now he is so all-fired sharp 
that he cuts all his old acquaintances, and ca n 't be coaxed 



TKE RAZOR STRoP MAN. 69 

near a bar-room. But I have spun my yarn, and will now 
close by wishing you the best luck in your labors, and hum- 
bly hoping that we both may live to hear the last words 
and dying speech of old king alcohol. 

The Razor Strop Man. 
Philadelphia^ June IsZ, 1847. 



[From the Soutli Carolina Temperance Advocate.] 

Mr. Bowman : — I have to ask your forgiveness for not 
earlier performing my promise to give you an account of 
my travels. When I left your beautiful city, I visited Au- 
gusta, and with the letters of introduction I had received from 
your citizens, I found myself in first rate company, and very 
much at home. So much for being a good temperance man, 
and a teetotal merchant. You may laugh at my calling my- 
self a merchant, but 1 am one, nevertheless, and have sold 
more stops than any other man in the whole world, and still 
have a " few more left of the same sort." And what is very 
singular, although I call myself an honest merchant, yet all 
my customers get closely shaved by trading with me. 
Thanks to the glorious pledge of temperance, which is like 
a golden key to unlock the door of society, so that any body 
can go in and take a seat and see the play, money or no 
money. 

The man that drinks grog, wine, brandy or beer, 
And loafs round the tap-room from year to year, 
Will find in tiie end, that he 's lived in vain, 
With sore old bones and an addled brain ; 
He coughs and sneezes, and wheezes and spits, 
And he '11 die at last in spasms and fits. 

But the man that drinks water, old Adam's own ale, 
Will always be liealthy, stout, rugged and hale ; 
Of dimes, dollars and eagles he '11 ne'er be bereft, 
But always can boast of a few more left ; 
And he '11 live till his hair is as white as a sheep, 
Then he'll die like a baby going to sleep. 

From Augusta I went to Athens, which is a fine place — ■ 
houses all built of brick, or something else, and looking as 



70 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

nice and pretty as a fresh box of my razor strops. I deliv- 
ered a temperance lecture while there, and had many of the 
college boys to hear me. On my way to the Court House, 
I saw a man and his wife and seven children encamped in 
the woods. I asked them how they came to live in such a 
style. They told me that they had been to the factory to 
get work, but the agent could n't employ them, and so sent 
them back to their own country — their wagon broke down 
in the road, and they were obliged to stop in the woods un- 
til they could get it repaired. The children looked cold and 
hungry, and so did the father and mother. 1 gave them 
some money to buy food, and went on my way. Soon af- 
ter I reached the Court House, the woman came along, and 
as there were a good many people there, I thought if I had 
cheek enough to sell razor strops, I might • surely put on a 
face to ask charity for the poor woman and her suffering 
children. So I went with her among the lawyers and judges, 
•who seemed to have a few feelings left, for they made 
up a purse of about twenty dollars, which was given to the 
. poor woman. After she was gone, I v^^as told by a gentle- 
man that she and her husband were both drunk. They had 
both lied to me, fori had questioned them on that point, and 
they denied overdrinking, at all. However, I felt that I had 
done my duty, and so I went to work selling strops, with a 
light heart and clear conscience. While I was in Athens, I 
■was invited, together with a friend who was with me, to at- 
tend a debating society. The subject of the discussion was 
the war of the crusades. My friend took part in the debate, 
but as I was rather ignorant of the subject, I kept dark, looked 
wise, shook my head very gravely, and said nothing, and 
when the talking was over, both of us were elected honorary 
members. So you see I'm getting along towards being a 
great man. When 1 was a grog-drinker, I was only a work- 
ing man in a cotton factory, but now I am an honorary mem- 
ber of the Athenian Debating Society. My course is on- 
ward and upward, as the cod-fish said when he swallowed 
the fish-hook. 

A man that drinks water goes up, up. up, 

Enjoying life's sweetest varieties ; 
He 's blessed by the poor, and caressed by the rich, 
And beloved by Debating Societies. 



THK HAZOR STROP MAN. 71 

But the man that drinks grog, goes down, down, down, 

Without either money or goods ; 
In an old broken wagon, liis family he 'II drag on, 

And at night pitch his tent in the woods. 

While I was standing near the Court House, selling my 
strops, and enumerating a few of their good qualities, I was 
interrupted by two men, an old and a young one, who were 
both drunk. You know I never get cross with such men, 
so I just gave them a little lecture on temperance — but the 
old fellow kept bothering me, and calling rne a fool, till at 
last I told him it was too bad to have two fools in one crowd, 
so he or 1 had better leave. He took the hint and walked 
off. ] saw the young 'man some time afterwards, and he 
shook nie by the hand, and thanked me for what I hud said. 
1 think lie will leave offdrinking. 

But as my letter is already too lengthy, I must close, and 
give you the remainder in another epistle. 

So excuse me, dear friend, and believe me to be 
Your teetotal brother, by land and by sea : 
Wherever I go, and whatever I do, 
With pleasure I always shall think of you. 

If you think enough of this rambling letter, 
To put it in type, why so much the better ; 
I '11 write you another as soon as I can, 
So adieu, my good friend, 

The Razor Strop Man. 
Philadelphia, June 8</t, 1847. 



ONE MORE OF THE SAME SORT. 

" Gentlemen, these strops are good strops, handsome 
strops, cheap strops, and — " " You are a cussed old fool," 
interrupted a potato faced, blear eyed fellow from the 
crowd. " And gentlemen, there is but one more left of the 
same sort,^'' quietly continued Smith, pointmg to his refrac- 
tory auditor. Potato face was sold very cheaply. — Tribune. 



72 i'l'f'E of HENRY SMlttt, 

RAZOR STROP DITTIES.— NO. 1. 

BY HENRY SMITH. 

My friends, I come not here to-day 

With unsubstantial tales, 
As fragile as the ocean spray, 

And changeful as its galRs. 
True, mine is not a wtDrd of law. 

Which should your reason mould, 
But I have many others here 

To tell as I have told. 

There scarce is one to whom I speak, 

Who is not interested. 
Who has not either chin or cheek 

With wiry beard infested. 
'T were therefore well that he should know, 

As beard must be endured, 
How, of our daily ills below, 

This roughest may be cured. 

That 's done with ease, the strop I hold 

Can keep your razors keen. 
I '11 warrant, though 't were three weeks old, 

'T will shave the stubble clean. 
Nay, my famous strop will not deny 

A jack-knife rude and rough ; 
I promise, if you choose to try, 

'T will make it keen enough. 

One thing you must remember well,— 

That there are other places. 
Where other whole-souled people dwell, 

With beards upon their faces. 
And I, tho' always proud to please, 

Must be impartial, too. 
For others like to shave with ease, ♦ ■ 

As well, my friends, as you. 

So now 's the time to say who '11 buy, 
There 's business in each minute,-^ 

While I am here, you'j'd better try 
A strop with va,lue in it. 



THS "RAZOH STROT MA'N. 'tJS 

You ''li not regret the choice, I know. 

And you may well believe me, 
There 's not a strop of all I 've sold. 

That ev^ will deceive ye. 



RAZOR STROP DITTIES.— NO. 2, 

A Wife won by a Razor Strop. 

A pleasant event has just come to my ear, 
Which I 'm willing to tell, if you're willing toTiear"; 
You '11 lose not by listening, perhaps you may win. 
As it interests all who have beard on the chin. 

A gent who resides not fo-e miles from this place, 

A model of manliness, fashion and grace, 

With cheeks which were fair as a garden of roses, 

Glowing out thro' a beard that would dignify Moses, 

And this he kept trimmed like a shrubbery knot, — 

Not a bristle was out of its own proper spot. 

Every day, when he went to liis mirror, to shave, 

He never seemed troubled, unhappy or grave, 

As others, when they at their toilet appear, 

Half killed beforehand, or half trembling with fear, 

Lest the razor, of which they forever complain, 

Should sever their windpipe, or open a vein. 

No ! he never endured apprehensions like these, 

But shaved on like a gentleman, quite at his ease, 

With a §mi]e on his face, and a beam in his eye, 

Untouched and undimmed by a fear or a sigh; 

Then while others are rasping, and cursing, and swearing, 

And the skin from the faces are painfully tearing, 

He comes to the business, goes gallantly in it. 

Is lathered and shaved and fixed off in a minute. 

And the whole of the secret, from bottom to top, 

Is, that from me he purchased a new razor strop. 

But I've more to relate— while he shaved every day, 
He was seen by a lady just over the way, 
Who noticed with feelings 'tis useless to tell, 
His manner of shaving so quick and so well. 
And the good humored smile which he brought to the task ; 
And sometimes the damsel would silently ask : 
" Is the principle seen in the action and plan ? 
If so, this must be a most excellent man." 
4 



14 ilfK OF HENRY SMITtT,. 

She also reflected her fortune would be 
Insured with a person so saving as he ; 
That he was the safest, for better or worse, 
Who knew that his labor was part of the purse. 
Till at last, like the fond Desdemona, she prayed^ 
That Heaven for iier such a gallant bad made. 
And the whole of the secret, from bottom to top. 
Is, that from me he purchased a new razor strop. 

I need not describe introductions and greetings, 
And amorous glances, and rapturous meetings, 
And how, when tlie due consultations were over. 
They went to the chnrch and were married, in clover- 
And he tells to this hour, as his chief of events, 
How he got a good wife for a few trifling cents. 

Now bachelors — now if you've wisdom, come try 
What good fortune you, too, can commnnd, bye-and-bye. 
And never forget, how this gent might have been 
Without foilune or wife, to (his moaient, I ween. 
Had he not had the wisdom to listen, and stop. 
And purchase from me a fine razor strop. 



RAZOR STROP DITTIES.— NO. a 
The Sick Old Gentleman. 

There was an old gentleman, once, 

Of three score years and ten, 
Who often was heard to exclaim. 

That he was the most wretched of men. 
He 'd loving relations and friends. 

He rolled in riches and wealth. 
And yet there was one thing he laclced. 

The greatest of blessings — good health. 

Although he had plenty of food, 

Yet no appetite had he to eat, 
He had the lumbago and cramp. 

And the gout in both of his feet. 
He 'd a terrible cough on his lungs, 

And to add to his numerous woes, 
He had a great wen on his neck. 

And corns on all of his toes. 



THE RAZOR STROP BtAN. 75 

Now, in order that he might be cured, 

He a great deal of medicine took, — 
Resolved to get rid of his pains 

In some way, by hook or by crook. 
But his efforts were all of them vain. 

His symptoms grew every day worse, 
And instead of a blessing to him, 

Quack nostrums proved only a curse. 

His doctor advised him, one day, 

A poor man's plaster to try, — 
He said it would draw out his pains, 

And dry up the tears from his eye ; — 
It drew him right down to the floor, 

As though he'd been drinking strong toddy; 
And, instead of his aches and his pains, 

Dreiv his breath right out of his body. 

He next tried two boxes of pills, — 

They said they would cure his complaint ; — 
Their power, so great and so rare. 

No pen, tongue or language could paint. 
They were only a quarter a box, 

In economy's scale tliey did weigh light ; 
But instead of driving his pains. 

They drove him down stairs before daylight. 

He next was persuaded to take 

A trip to Niagara Falls, sir; 
In hopes that the air, and the place, 

Would drown his sufferings, all, sir. 
But a boatman did coax him, one day, 

To sail, for sake of the pelf; 
And the boat did upset, so that he 

Came very near drowning, himself. 

Cough candy he took for his cough. 

In hopes it would drive it away, sir ; 
But in spite of tiie efforts he made, 

it only grew worse every day, sir. 
He said to his friends, with a sigh, 

Without any intention of scoffing, — 
That he felt well convinced that his cough 

Would soon put him into his coJTm. 

At length he gave up in despair, 

And bidding his doctors good-bye, 
With a sorrowful heart he went home. 

Believing that soon ho must die. 



76 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

But a friend having told him, one day, 

Of my strop, and advised him to try one, — 

He sent his man John right away, 

With a round silver dollar, to buy one. 

And wonderful, sir, to relate, 

As soon as he 'd shaved with a razor 
That was honed on my wonderful strop. 

His diseases all vanished away, sir. 
The gout left his feet, and the corns left his toes, 

The wen on his neck came to naught, sir ; 
My strop did tlie job — 1 've a few more left. 

And they 're all of that very same sort, sir. 



RAZOR STROP DITTIES— No. 4. 
Brown, the Cooper. — Or^ "A few more left." 

There lived, years ago, in a small country town, 
I might tell if I wished his name and location, 

A chap by the name (not uncommon) of Brown, 
A cooper by trade, or I should say vocation. 

He made wooden pails, butter firkins, and tubs, 

Corn baskets, hoe-handles, cart-spokes, and hubs; 

Yet it happened, somehow, and it beats me, I vow, 

When his trouble commenced, to inform you just now; 

But day after day his customers fell off, 

And his wares of all kinds he no longer could sell off. 

And his friends said his case was a theme for a ditty — 

'T was not like this case, and that 's more the pity. 

But a reason for his troubles I will allege, sir, 

The tools in his shop all wanted an edge, sir ; 

'T is needless to tell how Brown would behave, 

When once in a foriuight he set out to shave ; 

How he cursed, and he swore, and stamped round on the floor, 

With his chin all bedaubed with lather and gore. 

He strapped his old razor u])on his old boots, 

Till it fairly pulled his beard out by the roots, 

But it took him much longer to patch up his face. 

Than it would to shave any ten men in the place. 

Well, it ciianced one day ('t ia true, what I say, sir, 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 77' 

Here 's a match to the strop he used for his razor ;) 

'T was two years ago, I think 't was October, 

I met this old chap, — for once Brown was sober ; 

I had a good sale all that day from my shop, 

And so, for a Avonder, I gave Brown a strop. 

Ah, you scarce could believe it, and yet 't was the truth, 

How his eyes lighted up with the lustre of youth. 

How he gazed on the strop with such joy and delight, 

For so keen was its grit, sir, it sharpened his sight ; 

Aye, it sharpened the eye sight, — you 've only to look 

At the paste on the end, and by hook or by crook, 

'T is done ; you may throw your old spectacles by, 

For as to such gewgaws they 're all in my eye. 

And more wonderful, yet — if your children are dull, 

Just rub this strop round on tlie top of their skull ; 

'T will sharpen their wits so remarkably slick. 

They'll cut, as they grow up, their friends, and cut stick. 

Well, Brown hastened home with his strop in his pocket, 

He kept it as safe as a girl would a lockel ; 

He strapped his old razor, it shaved to a charm. 

He strapped up the scissors for aunty and marm ; 

He sharpened his hatchet, his chisel, his knife. 

And tried e'en to sharpen the wit of his wife — 

But this was no use ; Mrs. Brown, for a woman. 

Had a tongue and a visage much sharper than common. 

These things being over, he sat down to tea, 

With an appetite as sharp as a shark in the sea, 

And shortly after retired to his rest, 

With an edge on his feelings as good as the best; 

When early next morning, rub a-dub, rub-a-dub, 

He was driving the hoops on the handsomest tub 

Ever seen in those regions ; and since I 've been told, 

That long ere 't was finished 't was bargained and sold. 

'T is said since that time, whether shaving or driving. 

Brown's business has been exceedingly thriving ; 

His wares are well made, all his buckets are tight, 

And as smooth as the cheek you were kissing last night ; 

His children are handsome, good tempered, and witty, 

And strange to relate, Mrs. Brown has grown pretty. 

This strop did the business, only a quarter to pay, sir, 

'T will sharpen your eye sight, your wits or your razor ; ' 

'T will sharpen your appetite better than rum, 

And that is a thing drank too freely by some ; 

'T will sharpen and grind like a hone, sir, I 'm sure, 

But it never yet ground the face of the poor ; 

Or, if you 've a sister that plays on the harp, 

Yet cannot distinguish a flat from a sharp, 

Just purchase this strop, and beat time by her side. 



78 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

'T will sharp every note in the. tune — for I 've tried. 
Now, who wants the next ? it is almost a gift, 
A quarter a piece, and a few more left — 
Of the same sort. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 

BY Z. P. B. 

The Trojans are surely delighted, 
To hear such magnificent strains 

From a heart by true kindness incited — 
A head full of wit and of brains. 

His stories are mirthful and quizzy, 
His manners both winning and kind ; 

He 's industrious, untiring, and busy, 
In fitting his strops to your mind. 

He never gets into a passion 

At jokes that are passing around ; 

But tries to keep up with the fashion, 
By selling where lawyers are found. 

His words from pure eloquence springing, 
He copes with the best of our race ; 

But still he is constantly singing. 

How his strops will give ease to the face. 

Old Socrates no doubt inspires him. 
To feel so intense for mankind ; 

No insult or rudeness can find him. 

While to purchase he finds you inclined. 

Like the eloquent Webster he thunders. 
Though in language poetic and strong ; 

He seldom is known to make blunders. 
In a speech more than five hours' long. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 78 

^ne thing on your minds needs impressing — 

Like the sliowman, his stay 's very short ; 
improve, then, the kind proffered blessing, 

While he 's "just one more left of the sort." 

[Ti-oy Daily PosL 



REWARD OF MERIT. 

■Henry Smith, the famous " Razor Strop Man," having 
rendered good service to the cause of temperance in Boston, 
by his frequent lectures, for which he has refused to receive 
any pecuniary remuneration, was on Saturday evening last 
presented by the Washingtonians with a splendid gold medal, 
as a mark of their approbation of his disinterested la~ 
"liors. Washingtonian Hall was filled with a large and re- 
-spectable audience, notwithstanding the weather was some- 
what inclement. The medal was presented by President 
-Stacy. It is of pure gold, about the size of a dollar, the 
«dges beautifully chased. On one side is engraved the fol- 
lowing inscription : 

Presented to 
Bro. Henry Smith, 
by the 
Parent W. T. A. Society, 
as a small Token 
of their Friendship 
and Esteem. 
Wm R Stacy, Preset, ) ^ ^ ^ ^^^ 

E. S. Price, Sec y. j ' ' 

«On the reverse : 

May this small token ever be 
An emblem of our love to thee, 
And shield thee, in life''s darkest hour, 
From Alcohol's destroying power. 

JV. E. WasMnfctoniaTU 



*' Here 's the banisters, but where 's the stairs ? " as the 
•<9runken fellow said when he felt his way round the heA' 
^ stead in the dark. 



80 LIFE OF HENRY SMiTITj. 

RAZOR STROP PUNS. 

" Why," said the Razor Strop Man, addressing a largiS- 
srowd of gaping listeners in a southern eity, " why should 
dancing masters buy my strop ? Because it will aid thertu 
in cutting capers, and help them s/iaj'e?r-do\vn. 

Why should an ambitious lady buy my strop ? Because- 
it is a raise-Jier strop. 

Why should a lady fond of dress buy my strop ? Be- 
eause it is ar-rays-her strop. 

Why should a cooper buy my strop ? Bseauss it adzs 
to his pleasures, and staves off his troubles. 

Why should a hatter buy my strop ? Besause it willi 
confer a pleasure which will he felt fur-ewer. 

Why should a stage-struck youth buy my strop ? Be- 
cause it will make a dull blade Kean. 

Why should a shoemaker buy my strop ?- Besause iti 
will last him awl his days. 

Why should a baker buy my strop .'' Because it is ed 
thing he kneads-. 

Why should a carpenter buy my strop ? Bscause it is* 
jplane he never saio a l)etter one. 

Why should every body buy ray strop ? Because it is as 
good- strop, a cheap strop, a handsome strop, and thers ara- 
only a fsw left of the same sort." 

So walk up and buy, 

Fair ladies and gents ;, 
ISe a few more left, 

At twenty-five ceniB.. 



PRICE OF A SHEEP'S HEAD.. 

OiTR friend Smith, the far-famed " Razor Strop Man,"' 
was once endeavoring to get an inveterate grog-seller tc 
sign the pledge, but his arguments and entreaties were alike- 
unavailing, and the grog-seller, as quite a number of his pe- 
culiar friends and customers were standing around, deter- 
mined, if he could, to pass the matter off as a joks,. at tha 
expense of Smith, 



The razor strop man. 81 

*' Look here, Smith," exclaimed the man of toddy-sticks, 
" I understand that you get a dollar a head for every man 
you get to sign the pledge." 

" Who do you think pays it ?" inquired Smith. 

" Why, the Temperance Society, I suppose ; but I Ml tell 
you what it is. Smith, you do n't get a dollar on my head." 

" Well," answered Smith, looking rather comically at the 
grog-seller, " they loould be fools to pay a dollar for such a 
head as yours, when they can get a sheep'' s head ^ pluck and 
all, for a shilling.'''' 

The knight of the toddy-stick had nothing more to say. 
South Carolina Temperance Advocate, 



A QUICK RETORT. 

Whoever undertakes to put a joke on the Razor Strop 
Man, is sure to get floored in the long run. One day, while 
selling his strops in Plymouth, and expatiating the while on 
the evils of rum drinking, a tipsy fellow cried out, " If rum 
made me lie as fast as you do in selling your strops, I 'd quit 
it to-day." 

" Very good," replied Smith, " the only difference be- 
tween your lying and mine is this : My strops enable me 
to lie in a good warm bed, while rum makes you lie in the 
gutter." 

The tipsy man sloped, evidently lyi7ig under a great mis- 
take, in supposing that he could get the upper hands of the 
Razor Strop Man. — N. E. Washingtonian. 



How TO Get a Nose. — A lady whose fondness for a 
generous living had given her a flushed face and carbuncled 
nose, consulted Dr. Cheyne. Upon surveying herself in the 
glass, she exclaimed, " Where in the name of wonder did I 
get such a nose as this ?" " Out of the decanter, Madam- 
out of the decanter," said the doctor. 
4* 



82 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

TAKING THE « LYE" OUT. 

" For the last five months," says Smith, in a letter to a 
friend, " I have been travelling in company with a man who 
sells soap and cement. He is a first rate fellow, but has 
been in the habit of taking a little drop once in a while, by 
way of lathering up his spirits, so that he might the better 
shave his customers. After hammering away at him for 
some time, I have at length induced him to sign the pledge, 
and now he has completely washed his hands from intem- 
perance, and is firmly cemented to the cold water army. 
There is not so much lye about his soap now as there used 
to be, and his cement sticks better than ever." 



AN EXCEPTION. 

" This strop," said our friend Smith, while addressing a 
crowd in Providence, last summer, " this strop, gentlemen, is 
so keen, that it will sharpen a dull knife or a dull razor, in 
less time than you can swap jack-knives with a tin pedlar ; 
in fact, gentlemen, it will sharpen the dullest thing you ever 
saw." " You are a bloody old liar," exclaimed an old toper 
who had been bothering Smith all the forenoon with his im- 
pertinence. " Except, gentlemen," continued the strop 
man, eyeing his refractory auditor, " except that man's in- 
tellect, which is so confounded dull that he do n't know 
enough to shut up his shop when his goods are all gone." 
The toper toddled. — IV. E. Washingtonian. 



RAZOR STROP MAN. 

The liberality with which this celebrated individual gives 
for charitable purposes is well known. An instance occur- 
red on Tuesday last, at Canandaigua. He left the cars at 
Blossom's refreshment house, and taking his stand before the 
building, soon drew the crowd from the tables, to listen to 



THE RAZOH STROP MAN. 'S3 

Ilis peculiar eloquence. During the " ten minutes," he had 
sold nine strops, and just as the bell began to ring, he espied 
in the crowd, a poor old man whe was peddling pea-nuts 
•and candy. Instantly the Razor Strop Man threw eighteen 
shillings, the proceeds of his sale, into the old man's basket, 
and stepped on board the cars, leaving the object of his ben- 
'efaction astonished at so sudden and welcome an exercise of 
bounty. — Rochester Paper, 



GETTING MORE THAN HIS SHARE. 

While addressing a large crowd in Cincinnati, Smith took 
^occasion to put in a word or two in favor ef Temperance, 
■and observed that it would be a blessing to the country, if all 
sorts of intoxicating drinks could be banished entirely from 
the country. ''^ Nonsense," hiccupped a loafer, who was 
standing near, " rum is a ben-benefit to the country, and is 
ne-necessary to the health of we-weak and si-sickly peo- 
ple." " Exactly so," replied Strop, and if all the rum in 
the land was divided among the people in proportion to their 
weakness, you 'd get a greater share than any man I know^" 
The loafer vafnosed. 



ACROSTIC. 

T hou safeguard of the body, purse and soul, 

E 'er may I live beneath thy blest control ; 

M ild guardian angel of our destiny, 

P roving the genius of true liberty, — 

E nnobling those who do espouse thy cause, 

R eoardless of censure, deaf unto applause. 

A loft thy banners gloriously unfurled, 

N ow in sight of an admiring world ; 

C reation smiles wherever falls thy ray, 

E den itself was scarce more fair and gay. 



;§4" I>I?E OF a^NK? SMITfi^ 

OUR FLAG. 

BY J. H. AIRMAN. 

Air- — Carrier Dove. 

Fling abroad its folds to the cooling breeze,. 

Let it float at the mast head high, — 
And gather around all hearts resolved 

To sustain it there, or die. 
An emblem of peace and hope to the world;, 

Unstained let it ever be ; 
And say to the world, where e'er it waves, 

Our flag is the flag of the free. 

Our banner proclaims to the list'ning earth, 

That the reign of the tyrant is o'er ; 
The galling chains of tlie monster, rum, 

Shall enslave mankind no more. 
An emblem of hope to the poor and the lost. 

Oh ! place it where all may see 5- 
And shout with glad voice, as you raise it oE higbi 

Our flag is the flag of the free. 

Then proudly on high let that banner wave, 

And lead us the foe to meet; 
Let it float in triumph o'er our heads, 

Or prove our winding sheet. 
And never, oh ! never be it furled, 

Till it waves o'er earth and o'er sea ; 
And all mankind shall swell the shout, — - 

Our flag is the flag of the free. 



CUTTING REPLY. 

" I say, Mr. Razor Strop," said a clownish fellow icr 
Smith, while the latter was proving the virtues of his strop 
on an old butcher's knife, which a by-stander had handed 
him, " Do you suppose I could kill a calf with that knife, 
after you've sharpened it?" 

" I don't know," replied Smith, " whether you could kill 
s calf with it, but I venture to say that I can shave one — 
jend me your arm. — JV. Y. Atlas. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 85 



TEMPEHANCE SONGS. 



THE INEBRIATE AT HIS MOTHER'S GRAVEv 

BY JOHN F. COLES. 

Air — Irish EmigfanVs Lament. 

1 'm gazing on thy grat^e, mother, 

And niy heart is filled with woe, 
For I see thee now as I saw thee last, 

So many years ago. 
Methinks I see thy pale, pale face. 

Thy features so calm and mild, 
With thy lips half closed as if in prayer^ 

For a blessing on thy child. 

Though I was young and thoughtless, thee, 

Yet I loved thee, mother dear, 
And I thougl^t my little heart would breaks 

When they tore me from thy bier. 
I struggled then for a last, fond kiss. 

But thy lips were cold as stone ; 
I felt that death had robbed me, then. 

And left me all alone. 

'T is many a year ago, mother, 

Since the earth closed o'er thy head — ' 
Oh ! would that I were by thy side. 

And numbered with the dead ! 
For I am lone and friendless, now. 

And my heart is filled with gloom ; 
There is no peace for me on earth. 

No rest but in the tomb. 

I 've wandered many a mile, mother. 

But yet I 've found no rest ; 
I 've found no heart that loved like thine, 

No pillow like thy breast. 
But my course is nearly finished, now — 

Soon by thy side I '11 lie ; 
For I have lived the drunkard's life^ 

Like the drunkard I must die. 



86 LIFE OF HENRY SMlTH^ 

But why am I thus early called 

Through such a scene to pass ? 
£t is because I have not learned 

To shun the social glass. 
And yet, dear mother, this sad heart 

Hath one remaining joy — 
It is that thou didst die before 

The ruin of thy boy. 

And now farewell, my mother deaf, 

I go away to die! 
No stone or tablet shall make known 

The place where I may lie. 
For I 've no friends to mourn for me, 

When stretched upon my bier — 
There 's not a soul in all the earth 

To shed for me a tear. 



THE TEMPERANCE MAN. 

Oh ! I am a Temperance man. 

And where is the man like me, 
Tho' the toper delight in his can, 

Yet from care he 's not half so free. 
There' s peace in my house ; on my table 

There always is plenty of cheer ; 
Tho' to purchase strong liquors, I 'm able, 

I drink neither wine, brandy nor beer. 

For I am a Temperance man. Ha ! ha ! 

i am hearty, strong, active and gay, 

At night I enjoy sweet repose; 
I rise with the dawning of day — 

With the hue of the healthful rose. 
I've no pains to torment or annoy me ; 

My nerves are unshaken, and strong ; 
Old Alcohol ne'er shall destroy me ; 

While I live I'll rejoice in this song! 

Oh ! I am a Temperance man. Ha! ha! 

The wine cup for me hath no joys ; 

There is madness and death in the bowl — 
'T is the poison that surely destroys 

The mind, and the heart, and the soul. 



THE RAZOE STROP MAN. 81' 

But the drink that kind nature has given, 

As it flows in its sweetness along, 
Is water, sweet water from Heaven, 

Which maketh man happ}' and strong. 

Oh ! I am a Temperance man. Ha ! ha ! 

Oh ! I am a Temperance man. 

And I 've got a good Temperance wife, 
And now there 's no noise in the house — 

No discord, dissension, or strife. 
And now, each young gent I 'd advise 

The Temperance flag to unfurl — 
Then hasten as fast as he can, 

And marry a Temperance girl, 

And be a good Temperance man. Ha ! ha 1 



THE PLEDGE SIGNED. 

BY J. F. COLES,. 

Air — Go, forget me ; why should sorrowt. 

Brothers, I the pledge have taken, 

Poor and wretched though I be ; 
If by former friends forsaken, 

Yet I feel that 1 am free. 
Broken are the cords which bound me , 

Severed is each iron chain ; 
Brothers now are gath'ring round me ; 

All is bright and fair again. 

My heart with rapture now is beating, 

Filled with new and strange delight ; 
Dark despair is now retreating 

Into everlasting night. 
The star of hope is shining o'er me ; 

Clouds no longer round me play ; 
Sweet the prospect now before me ; 

All my cares have passed away 

Friends, be warned by my example ; 

Shun the tempter's fatal snare ; 
Else upon your heart he '11 trample, 

Leaving you in sad despair. 



LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

Fly, O fly, from sin and sorrow ; 

Dash tlie poisoned bowl away ; 
Put not off until to-morrow 

That which you should do to-day. 



I'VE LEFT THE CUR 

BT J. F. COLKS. 

Air — In the days tchen we ivent gipsying. 

I've left the cup that once I loved, 

A long time ago ; 
For well I know that misery 

And death from it do flow. 
When friends invite me now to drink, 

I always answer no ; 
For I 'm resolved that while I live 

For Temperance I '11 go. 

1 used to wear such ragged clothes, 

A long time ago. 
That all my friends deserted me; 

My face they did not know. 
But now I wear a handsome suit. 

And when up town I go, 
The pretty ladies smile on me. 

And call me quite a beau. 

My face was once all pimpled o'er, 

A long time ago. 
But now my skin is fair and clear ; 

My cheeks with health do glow. 
And when I ask a pretty girl 

If I may be her beau. 
She smiles and whispers, if you please, 

But never answers no. 

And ever since I signed the pledge, 

A long time ago, 
With every earthly happiness 

My cup doth overflow. 



THE KAZOK STROP MAN. 89 

In fact, whatever I possess, 

To Temperance I owe ; 
And I 'm resolved, in life and death, 

For Temperance to go. 



I'M FREE, I'M FREE, 

BY JOHN F, COLES. 

A I R — Rockaway. 

On old king Alcohol's domains 

Many a year I 've whiled away^ 
In list'ning to the syren strain 

That lured my youthful heart astray. 
I pressed the wine cup to my lip. 

And sought for pleasure in the bowj. 
But every draught that I did sip 

Was direst poison to my soul. 

Ob! Oh! Oh! On old King, &c. 

The rosy nectar, sparkling bright, 

With strange emotions fired my brairt, 
My heart now swelling with delight. 

Anon transfixed with burning pain. 
And thus the tempter lured me on. 

Step by step within the snare, 
Till joy and hope away had flown, 

And naught was left bat dark despair. 

Oh ! Oh ! Oh ! On old King, &e- 

When most oppressed with eares and woes. 

And raving in the madman's trance, — 
T was then a star of hope arose — 

It was the star of Temperance. 
Oh ! gladly then I hailed the light 

That promised life and liberty, 
I burst my chains, and stood upright, 

And shouted forth I'm free, I ^m free, Oh ! &G-. 

On old King Alcohol's domaiH 

Many a year I 've whiled away. 
But now my soul is free again. 

And never more wUl go astray. 



90 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 



THK DRUNKARD'S HOME. 

Hie you ! iiie you, come with me, 
And a curious sight you '11 see ; 
Come without one if or but, 
And inspect the drunkard's hut. 
Pins a piece to look at a show, 
Lots of nothing all in a row. 

Look within and look without, 

Look straight on and round about ; 

Is n't it supremely graisd — 

Straw for a bed, and grease for sand? 
Pins a piece to look at a sliow, 
Tallow for carpets, all in a row. 

Torn with winds and soaked with rains. 

Paper bags for window panes, 

Which, when through the weather pops, 

Are blocked up with sods and mops. 
Pins a piece to look at a show, 
Strange contrivements all in a row. 

Snails are creeping up the wall, 

Round the window spiders crawl ; 

A long legged and grizzly throng. 

Weaving muslin all day long. 

Pins a piece to look at a show. 
Cobweb curtains all in^a row. 

Where 's the table ? — that old door. 
In the middle of the floor. 
Lashed with sundry hazel sticks, 
Propp'd with legs composed of bricks. 
Pins a piece to look at a show. 
Tools on crutches all in a row. 

All the pots my uncle sacked, 
All bat two, and they are cracked ; 
All the tools for dinner work, 
Save an ancient one legg'd fork. 
Pins a piece to look at show. 
Family pictures all in row. 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 91 

Where 's the dish from which they feed ? 
Bums have dished it up, indeed ; 
Girls and women, boy and man 
Stick their clutches in the pan. 

Pins a piece to look at a show, 

Two legg'd grunters all in a row. 

Where 's the chairs on which they sit ? 

Swallowed in a drunken fit ; 

All below and all up stairs, 

Bricks for stools and stones for chairs. 

Pins a piece to look at a show. 

Stones for cushions all in a row. 

See the fender, as you stoop, 
Made of an old barrel hoop. 
See the kettle on the hob, 
Shedding tears for dusty Bob. 

Pins a piece to look at a show, 

Jobs for tinkers, all in a row. 

Oh ! what high extatic bliss. 
To possess a home like this ; 
Cleared of all its joys by some 
Landlord, thief or rascal bum. 

Pins a piece to look at a show, 

Swill tub scrapings all in a row. 



TEMPERANCE PUZZLE. 

P H M* 
K O M 

These letters in their proper place, 

Will show the world and thee, 
A cause of sorrow and disgrace — 

Of strife and misery. 

By folding the paper between the two rows of letters, in 
such a manner as to make the upper halves of the first three 
join to the lower halves of the under ones, the answer will 
be obtained. 



92 LIFE OF HENKY SMlTH, 



TEMPERANCE ANECDOTES. 



" My dear, where is my Morning and Evening Devo- 
tion ?" said Mr. Paul Partington — meaning a small book 
with that title, in which he was accustomed to read. 

" Here it is," said Mrs. Partington, producing a dark 
bottle from the closet ; " here it is in the bottle." 

He looked intently in her face, to see if malice was ac- 
tuating her ; but all there was calm ; and rather than de- 
stroy her apparent satisfaction at obliging him, he refrained 
from explanation, and partook — Boston Post. 

A drunken fellow recovering from a dangerous illness, 
was asked whether he had not been afraid of meeting his 
God. " No," said he, " I was only afeard o' father chap.'''' 

The Boston Post says there was a very impressive yuneraZ 
in that city recently. A barrel of porter had fallen from a 
truck, and some fifty mourners were standing round the 
heer. 

" Hear the words of instruction, my son, while you are 
sober," said the doctor, " for it is not possible to be taught 
when you 're tight,'''' 

Polite. — Abby Folsom once said to one of the judges of 
the Massachusetts Supreme Court, while on the bench, 
" Cold water never gave you that red nose. 

" What do you think of whisky. Dr. Johnson .?" hic- 
cupped Boswell, after emptying a sixth tumbler of toddy. 

" Sir," said the doctor, " it penetrates my very soul like 
the small still voice of conscience, and doubtless the worm 
of the still is the worm that never dies." 

A young fellow having been charged with getting drunk 
the night before, and wishing to justify himself, declared 
" he never was drunk, nor never meant to be — for it always 
made him feel so bad the next morning!''^ 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 93 

Sermon on Drinkinr. — My hearers, to keep continually 
dry, always wear an oilcloth dress, carry a good umbrella, 
and practice rum-drinking. 

The first two articles, however, are only essential in 
protecting the outside from superabundant moisture, but the 
latter keeps the insides as dry as a stove pipe. I never 
knew a rum drinker, but who was eternally dry — dry in all 
kinds of weather. He goes to bed dry, and gets up dry, 
and keeps himself dry through the day. It's not to be won- 
dered at ; for how can he be otherwise than dry, when he 
keeps the blue blazes of hell constantly burning in his bo- 
som, by pouring doubled distilled damnation in his throat, 
forever. In fact, my friends, the more he drinks, the dryer 
he grows ; on his death-bed he cries for one more drink, for 
the last, and then he goes out of the world as thirsty as if 
he had lived on codfish all the days of his life. — Dow, Jr. 

' Gen. Cass on Temperance. — Gen. Lewis Cass delivered a 
public Temperance Address in Detroit, in the year 1830, in 
which he declared that he had been all his life a strict cold 
water man ; and that in all the severe trials his constitution 
had undergone in youth, from the exposure incident to bor- 
der life, as well as during the fatigues of the last war, he 
had strictly adhered to the rule laid down in early life. 
" From my own observation" said he, " I can safely assert, 
that the drinker of cold water is able to undergo more fa- 
tigue, and is liable to fewer diseases, in the proportion of 
one to a hundred, than the drinker of ardent spirits." 

Gen. Taylor on Temperance. — A few years ago Gen. 
Taylor made the following remarks to a friend : — " In the 
Florida war I preserved my health solely by Temperance. 
When the water was very impure some of the officers and 
men insisted on the absolute necessity of using ardent spirits 
with it. But I always observed they fared the worse for it. 
As for myself, I would mix the swamp-water with coarse 
meal so as to cledr it of sediment, and content myself with 
such a beverage." 

The Lynn News, remembers a drunken man in the hands 
of the law, who tried to convince the mob that he was taking 
the constable to jail. 



94 LIFE OF HENRY SMITH, 

Joining the " Sons." — A chap in St. Louis, having 
joined the " Sons of Temperance," thus publicly takes leave 
of his old friends : — 

Oh, now, forever, 
Farewell the toddies warm ! farewell the punches ! 
Farewell the drinking' troops, and the big slings, 
That make a frolic joyous! Oh, farewell! 
Farewell the roaring song", and the loud squeal. 
The spirit stirring catch, the ear piercing oath ; 
The royal pimptes, and all shameful deeds. 
And oh ! you whisky barrels, whose round bungs 
The pandemoniac clamors oft' awoke! 
Farewell ! 1 've signed the pledge ! Take me ye " sons !" — 

St. Louis Reveille. 

What Temperance Societies have done. — There are 
now, says the Albany Spectator, more than 1,500,000 
people in the United Stales who abstain from the use of ar- 
dent spirits, and from furnishing it to others ; more than 
5000 Temperance Societies, embracing more than 600,000 
members. More than 2000 distilleries have been stopped ; 
more than 5000 merchants have ceased from the traffic. 
It is estimated that 30,000 persons are now sober, who, had 
it not been for the Temperance Societies, would have been 
sots ; and at least 20,000 families are now in ease and com- 
fort, who would otherwise have been in poverty, and dis- 
graced by drunken inmates. 

Indian Shrewdness. — " I am glad," said the Rev. Dr. 

Y s, to the chief of the little Ottawas, " that you do not 

drink whisky, but it grieves me to find your people use so 
much of it." " Ah yes !" replied the chief, and he fixed 
an impressive eye upon the doctor, which communicated 
the i-eproof before he uttered it. " We Indians use a great 
deal of whisky, but we do not 77iake it." 

Raising Rent. — " How do you contrive to raise your 
rent.?" a lazy tavern-lounger asked of an industrious, 
thriving farmer. 

"Why, sir," replied the latter, " I put my plough int^ 
the ground, and after it is well broken up, I drop in seed ; 
and thus I I'aise potatoes, wheat, corn, cabbages, parsnips, 
and — the rent." 



THE RAZOR STROP MAN. 95 

Rhubarb and Jalap, vs. Spirits. — The late Dr. Aber- 
nethy was once consulted by a gentleman whose drinking 
habits had greatly impaired his constitution. After receiv- 
ing advice, the patient said, "But sir, what spirit would 
you recommend to drink ?" 

The doctor in disgust, replied, " Why, sir, you may take 
a tincture of rhubarb, that is a spirit ; or you may take a 
tincture of jalap, that is a spirit; and they have this advan- 
tage over other spirits, that, though you take them into your 
body, they will take themselves out of your body as fast as 
they can." 

Wink, darn ye. Wink. — A hard drinking, red-nosed, 
swollen-eyed codfisher, on one of his voyages, was troubled 
for three or four successive nights with a disagreeable wink- 
ing of his eyes, which prevented hirn from sleeping. One 
night, or rather towards morning, after he had exhausted a 
whole vocabulary of curses on his winking eyes, ever and 
anon exclaiming, " wink, darn ye, wink !" he got up from 
his berth, and went to the locker, where a bottle of strong 
pepper-sauce was kept, and bunking down again, poured a 
generous quantity of the contents of the bottle into his eyes, 
exclaiming at the same moment, " Now wink, darn ye !" 

Dandy Tipplers. — Dr. Jewett, in a speech recently de- 
livered in Hartford, wipes up the " strong minded" dandy 
tipplers after the following fashion. After describing the 
intemperate life of Scotland's eminent bard, Robert Burns, 
the Dr. said : 

" VVhy, sir, if three of his great thoughts should at any 
one time get into the cranium of one of that sappy sort of 
" toould ie" great ones, who in 1848 can tipple at the bar, 
and denounce the temperance enterprise as a piece of fa- 
naticism, it would split his skull as quick as a pound of pow- 
der favorably situated, and ignited, would split a pumpkin." 

Probationary. — A young lady offers the following ser- 
viceable and original rule for the guidance of spinsters : Be- 
fore marriage it is necessary that the young woman should 
see her intended husband in four situations, viz ; 1st, tipsy ; 
2nd, playing cards and losing ; 3d, waiting for his dinner ; 
and lastly, in a ball room. 



96 LIFE OF HENRY SHriTK. 

Liberty. — The " Razor Strop Man" says : — " When first 
I got acquainted with strong drink, it promised to do a great 
many things for me. It promised me liberty, and I got it 
with a vengeance. I had the liberty to see my toes poke 
out of my boots — the water had liberty to run in at the toes 
and run out at the heels — my knees had the liberty to come 
out of my pants — my elbows had liberty to come out of my 
coat — pimples had liberty to settle on my nose, and I had 
the liberty to lift up the crown of my hat, and scratch my )■ 
head without taking my hat off. And I not only had lib- 
erty, but delicious music, too ; for when I walked along on 
a windy day, 

The crown of my hat went flipperty flap , ■ 

And the wind whistled "how do you do." vW 

The Sick Dutchman, — An old Dutchman, who had re- 
cently joined the temperance society, was taken sick, and 
sent for a doctor to prescribe for him, who ordered him to ^^ 
take an ounce of brandy per day. The old chap over- '^ 
hauled his arithmetic, and found in apothecaries' weights, 
" eight drams make one ounce." " Mine gracious," said ; 
the Dutchman, " dat is de temperance society for me. I 
did n't take but six drams before, now I gets eight.'''' The 
consequence was, his complaints went off, and took him 
with them. 

A Soft Rebuke. — A young fop who had been rather 
too free with the bottle, being at a ball, observed a lady 
whose dress was so low in the neck as to display a large 
portion of her shoulders and chest. 

" Madam," said the gallant, " allow me to place my hand 
upon that soft bosom." 

" Sir," replied the young lady, " give me your hand and 
I will put it on a 7nuch softer place .'" 

She took his hand and laid it on his forehead. 

Too Large Limits. — " Why don't you limit yourself.?" 
said a physician to an intemperate person, " set down a 
stake that you will go so far and no farther." "So I do," 
said the toper, " But I set it so far off, that I always get 
drunk before I get to it." 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



The following Hotels are conduc 
pies, and are worthy of the patronag 
accommodations, polite attendance ai 




011 023 601 3 



Tremout Temperance House, 

110 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. 
HENRY WATERMAN, Jr., Proprietor. 



Pearl Street House, 

NASHUA, N. H. 

Opened 4th July, 1848. 

WILLIAM ADAMS, Proprietor. 



Morris House, 

188 CHESTNUT-ST., PHILADELPHIA. 
T. FLETCHER, Proprietor. 



Stockwell's Temperance House, 

BRIDGEPORT, CONN. 

Near the Rail Road Depot. 

JAMES STOCK WELL, Proprietor. 



Columbian House, 

SARATOGA SPRINGS. 
W. S. BALCH, Proprietor. 



Q,uincy House, 

NO. 1 BRATTLE SQUARE, BOSTON. 
ELI WHEELOCK, Proprietor. 



IVHITE & POTTER, 

BOOK, JOB AND FANCY PRINTERS, 

Spring Lane, corner of Devonshire Street, over Boston Type Foundry. 

Every description of Printing done at the shortest notice. Blanks 
and Seals used by Sons of Temperance, Cadets of Temperance, Temples 
of Honor, Ilechabite Tents and Encampments, on hand, or furnished 
at short notice. All orders from the country promptly attended to. 



REGALIA AND EMBLEMS. 

Sons of Temperance, Temples of Honor, and Cadets of Temperance 
Regalia and silver and plated Em'olemAS, of every quality, manufactured 
and for sale by H. K. Appleton, Boston, Mass. 

Orders addressed to J. Warren Appleton, G. S., Boston, Mass., will 
be promptly attended to. 



^J^'D SOJ^'S OF aPE!JfKJPE:K»tJ\'CE! OICtt^M'. 

{The largest Tetnperance Paper in the U. Staies.) 
JOHN F. COLES and SYLVANVS COBB, Jr., JEdiiorM. 

This is a well-conducted, large sized and elegantly printed Family 
Newspaper, devoted to the Sons of Temperance, Daughters and Cadets 
of Temperance, Rechabites, and the cause of Temperance generally. 
It also contains a weekly compend of the news of the day, together 
with able contributions on important subjects ; such as History, Edu- 
cation, Agriculture, Manufactures, Biography, New Inventions, &c., 
&c. ; illustrated with beautiful engravings in every number. 

Terms $2 per annum, in advance. Address, Jordan & Co., News- 
paper Exchange, No. 22 School Street, Boston. 



., 



